*ON HOLD* The Diary (A KathNiel FanFiction)

Chapter 1: Now

Chapter 1: Now

 

~ K A T H R Y N~

“*clears throat* Check. Check. Okay. Hey video Diary! *chuckles* I don't know why I just felt this today, but I feel stupid ofr talking to a video camera that is recording every word and move I make and no one's going to see it.” I composed myself and laughed bitterly at the camera. I looked at it again and finally spoke. “So, it's the last day. 7 months had passed. Yeah I know. It was fast. But many things happened, some are memorable, some... Well... Let's just say that I don't want to remember.”  I sighed and turned my eyes away from the camera.

 

“Kath... Breathe. Just, pretend that you're talking to him.” I whispered to myself trying to calm down.

 

“I know you've tried everything you can, but I guess it's time to let go.” I once again smiled bitterly. Tears forming in my eyes, threatening to fall.

 

“I know you'll understand. You'll understand right? Huh. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You didn't do anythig wrong don't worry. Actually, you did great!” I shot a reasuring smile at the camera and continued. “It's just that... No matter hard I try... I can't remember you.” I said in an almost half whisper, still not looking at the camera 'cause I know that my tears will betray me anytime soon.

 

“Maybe... Aish... How do I say this? Maybe I have vision attacks at times, and yes I've been lying to you about my visions. I was scared to tell you... Tell you that... Ugh.” That's it tears started to roll down my cheeks. I looked up at the ceiling and tried to breathe.

 

“You weren't the guy in my visions Deej. I don't know why. When I'm dreaming about my past, it was like flashbacks, but you weren't the guy in it Deej. And I'm sorry.” I paused and wiped a few tears.

 

“And to be honest, I remembered some parts of my memory but there still missing pieces. I know it hurts... It hurts me too you know. Because, I love you.” I just whispered the last part not wanting him to hear it if ever he's going to see this.

 

“But I'm really sorry. Really, really sorry. But I also want tothank you DJ. Thank you. Thank you so much... For everuthing. For the effort, for the treats *chuckle*, for the fun, for the worries and for taking care of me. And most importantly, thank you... Thank you fpr loving me even though you know that I can't love you back.” I smiled bitterly again.

 

“So, I think this is good bye, Dj. There's abig possibility that if you see this video I mupight be gone already.” After I said those words, it's like my heart was struck by lightning. I hope Dj can understand that it was a double meaning sentence.

 

“So good bye Daniel John Ford Padilla. Nice meeting you and it was nice that you were a part of my life... I love you...” I again whispered those last 3 words and turned off the camera.

 

I looked down at my lap. I was just staring down at it as if violet flowers are more interesting, not thinkig of anything while my tears just continously fall down.