Paint the town blue

Chapter VI

The weekend passed by unnoticed, because my thoughts weren't at all occupied with rest or anything else, but with excitement and thoughts about the upcoming meeting. I perfectly understand that I won't see him on Monday, but only get permission to visit, and I'll see him at best at the end of the week. Damn bureaucracy, so to speak.

I did tell Yuki that I was going to meet the Dutchman, and my neighbor wasn't happy about it at all. It even seemed to me that he was... scared? Anxious? Disappointed? Yes, he was probably disappointed in me. He, like others, hoped that I was starting to let go of the whole situation, but as it turned out, this isn't true at all. Of course, I told Yuki that my therapist Valtteri advised me to do all this, and a neighbor suggested that I change a specialist.

"But Fred agreed to give me permission."

"And I really hope Liam will slap him for it."

"But, Yuki, what if it really helps me feel better?"

"Charles, have you hit your head lately? You couldn't come to your senses for six months after what happened, you cried your eyes out almost every night, and walked around the house like a restless zombie during the day. And now that you've kind of started to get back on track, you've decided to just throw everything down the drain?"

There is a grain of truth in the words of the neighbor, but I still won't give up my idea. After all, maybe I really should've done this a long time ago. Maybe I should face my feelings and just... end everything? Maybe I won't see Max, the person who I loved so much, but I'll see a completely unfamiliar personality? I don't know how things will turn out, but I need this meeting.

So when Monday came and I came to the station, the first thing I did was go to Frederic's office. When I knocked on the door, I didn't hear an answer. I tried the handle a couple of times, but the door wouldn't budge. Taking my phone out of my pocket, I checked the time 8:05 a.m. Maybe I just came too early?

Turning around, I went to my office. It's strange, of course, that Frederic wasn't in the office, but maybe I really came too early? Well, I'll try my luck a little later.

When I got to the office, I hung my jacket on a hanger and sat down at my desk. I turned on my computer as usual and began to scroll through the news bulletins and data on new cases at the station. More thefts, more fights of drunken students, even one hijacking - what else could I expect on the weekend?

Hijackings rarely happen here, so I decided to look at which of the officers is investigating this case and read what he managed to find.

While I was reading the case reports, I didn't even notice how time flew by. I would've continued reading, but Liam literally broke into my office with a piece of paper in his hands. He immediately began talking to me in raised tones, and I sincerely didn't understand what was going on.

"Are you fucked in the head completely?!"

"What are you talking about?"

"That's what I'm talking about!"

Liam slapped the table, pressing the sheet in a transparent pocket to its surface. I glanced at the sheet and realized that this was the permission I had asked Frederic for. He still didn't change his mind and gave it to me. It seems that the mere realization of this fact made my heart beat faster.

"Hello? Are you listening to me?!"

I looked at Liam a little confused and couldn't understand what he was saying at all. I guess I'm too lost in my own thoughts again.

"What the fuck are you doing, Charles? Don't you feel sorry for yourself at all? Don't you have any...any...don't you have any fucking conscious at all?!"