Paint the town blue

Chapter VII

I don't know if it's because of nerves or anticipation, but I woke up today even before the alarm went off. I turned off the alarm beforehand so that it wouldn't ring all over the house and wake up the neighbor, although I'm more than sure that Yuki was never disturbed by my alarm clock.

I didn't even stay in bed, although I usually prefer to lie down for a while to gather my thoughts on how to get through another day. It's still a couple of hours before I leave the house, so I took a quick shower, changed my clothes, and even styled a bit my slightly curly hair for the first time in a long time. It feels like I'm not going to meet the man who killed my loved ones, but like I'm going on a date. Although who am I kidding? I still consider him as my boyfriend. Maybe Esteban was right and I was just fixated on the fact that we were still in a relationship and therefore I couldn't let him go? I just can't figure out that it's over between us until I hear it from him personally? It seems that not only the Dutchman has problems with his head.

When I left the room, a still sleepy Yuki was already sitting in the kitchen, and two mugs of coffee were on the table in front of him. When I entered the kitchen, the neighbor was surprised by my appearance and my unusually good mood. Well, smile more and no one will ever see how stressed you're inside.  

"Wow. Are you sure you're going to meet a serial killer?"

"Yeap, that's what my permit says."

"It looks more like you're going to die from happiness. "

"Well, If i'm destined to die, then as it was said by Charlie Scene: When you go to meet God, you know, you wanna look nice."

"Just don't take this phrase too literally, okay?"

I laughed softly and rolled my eyes, and Yuki nodded towards the coffee mug. I sat down at his table and thanked my friend, after which we talked for a while over coffee. He offered to come with me again, and I refused. Yuki asked if I was ready for the meeting at all, and I replied that yes, although there was a hurricane of emotions and questions inside me that I wanted, but I was unlikely to be able to ask.

"And if he refuses to see you?"

"He won't refuse."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yuki, he didn't take his eyes off me in court, do you think he's going to refuse the meeting now?"

"Charles, it's been more than six months. He's been drugged all this time. Don't you think that pills could force you out of his mind?"

"No. I'm sure."

I lied. I was scared as hell that he would refuse the meeting or, even worse, he would forget about me. No messages, no calls, nothing. And here I am, sitting in the kitchen, drinking coffee and still thinking about the person who caused me so much pain. I wonder if there is a name for such a phenomenon in psychiatry? Because I'm 100% sick.

Glancing at my watch, I told my neighbor that it was time for me to leave, to which he silently nodded. I got up from my chair and went to my room to get a backpack with documents, and when I was already in the hallway, I checked my appearance once again. My God, what's happening to me? What kind of effort is this for the sake of a man I've tried my best to forget? I still hope that both Estie and Valtteri were right and after this meeting I'll be able to let him go and become the same Charles again that I was almost a six months ago.

After saying goodbye to Yuki and taking my things, I left the house and headed to the garage, where my trusty Ferrari is waiting for me. I don't drive very often, but today I have to, because my destination point isn't that close, and I absolutely don't want to ask Fred to give me a patrol car. I'd rather go alone and tune in to the meeting than go in front of the officers and listen to their stupid jokes.