In the Midst of an Art | Ongoing

Chapter VIII : Sorrow

Dynasty returned to his room that night with a heavy heart, the gallery's exhibition still vivid in his mind. The bustling atmosphere, the enigmatic presence of Custom, and the haunting reminder of his past all swirled together, leaving him feeling disoriented. He needed to clear his head, to make sense of it all.

As he entered his room, he glanced around at the familiar, cluttered space. The walls were adorned with sketches and framed pieces from his earlier days—remnants of a life he had carefully packed away. He sat down at his desk, where his laptop rested. The screen flickered to life as he opened it, revealing a digital archive of his past works.

He hesitated before scrolling through the files—his paintings, sketches, and concept art, each one a testament to his former identity as Shi. The images were both mesmerizing and tormenting. The vibrant colors and intricate details spoke of a passion that now felt like it belonged to someone else.

"Look at these." Dynasty muttered to himself, his voice laced with both awe and frustration. "I used to make this look effortless. What happened to that person?"

His eyes were drawn to a series of works he had created at the height of his career—pieces that had once brought him acclaim and fulfillment. He could remember the exhilaration of creating them, the flow of inspiration that had seemed endless. But now, as he looked at them, he felt an overwhelming sense of disconnection.

"Remember the thrill?" he said aloud, his voice tinged with nostalgia. "It was like the ideas never stopped coming. Now, it's just... nothing."

With growing frustration, he reached for his old sketchpad and a brush from the drawer. He wanted to reclaim that sense of artistry, that feeling of purpose. "Maybe if I just try again," he said, attempting to muster hope.

But as soon as the brush touched the canvas, he was met with a stark, jarring reality—his hands felt clumsy, his strokes uncertain. The familiar rhythm of creation eluded him, replaced by an exasperating sense of inadequacy.

Dynasty's heart pounded as he stared at the canvas, his frustration boiling over. "Why is this so hard now?" he growled, the frustration evident in his voice. "It was like breathing before. What's changed?"

He tried to recall the ease with which he once worked, the fluid motions that had seemed so natural. But now, the brush felt like a foreign object, and his efforts resulted in nothing more than a chaotic mess of colors and shapes. "This isn't right." he muttered angrily. "I can't even make a simple line."

Dynasty slapped the brush down on the desk, the clatter echoing through the quiet room. His breathing was heavy, his eyes stinging with unshed tears. "What's wrong with me? I used to be able to create something meaningful..." he said, the words barely escaping through his despair.

He threw himself back into his chair, his mind racing with self-doubt. "I thought I could just slip back into this. I thought it would be easy." he said to the empty room. "But maybe that person I was... maybe he's gone for good."

Dynasty's frustration gave way to a profound sense of loss. He felt as if the essence of who he had been was slipping through his fingers, leaving him with nothing but fragments of a past he could no longer fully reclaim. "I stepped away for a reason." he said, his voice filled with regret. "But now, facing all this... I don't know how to move forward."

He stood up abruptly, pacing the room, his thoughts tangled in a mix of anger and sorrow. "Returning to my old self... reigniting that passion... it feels impossible." he said aloud. His identity as Shi—the artist who once captivated audiences—now felt like a ghost haunting him from the shadows.

He looked around at the scattered remnants of his artistic journey—sketches, brushes, and unfinished canvases. The sight of them only served as a painful reminder of what he felt he had lost. "All of this... it's just a reminder of what I can't reach anymore." he said, his voice heavy with disappointment. "I thought I could reconnect with my past, but maybe it's just too far gone."