His Bride - A Minsung Story

二十四

Jisung's POV:

I stare blankly out the window of our library. Just watching the people pass by, going about their day. Every part of me aches to back at the castle, with Minho. But I can't give in, he hurt me without even letting me explain myself. I keep thinking about him though, almost every thought that crosses my mind is about him. Why does he occupy my mind when all I want to do is forget him?

Soonie sleeps in the corner of the library, oblivious to the entire situation. And true to my previous words, all she does is remind me of Minho. I actually love her more for it, but it only adds to the confusing emotions running around my head.

"Ji?! Are you slacking?" Hyunjin walks up to me, and I look at him with an empty expression. He sighs, "You need to forget him, he doesn't deserve you."

"It's been 5 days, and I can't decide if I wish he'll find me or just leave me alone," I pull at my hair in frustration. My mind is being so contradicting with what it wants me to do about Minho. Go back to the castle. Stay here. You still love him. Hate him. Be happy he's gone. Cry now that he's gone. It's frustrating.

"Cheer up, Hannie. The pain will go away soon, I promise," Hyunjin smiles before going back to attending to customers. I let out a sigh, him using my old last name makes me Minho even more. I know Hyunjin is only trying to help but I wish he would leave me alone. It's why I haven't gone back home yet; I want to be alone.

I move monotonously around the library, not finding the job as enjoyable as before. The quiet thuds of books being placed in shelves distracts me from my chaotic mind, calming the whirl of thoughts. I finish my side of the library rather quickly and start doing Hyunjin's side since he's working with the customers. Usually, I would be happy to interact with our customers, but lately I haven't had the energy for it.

I look at the cover of the next book and realize the authors first name is also Minho. I instinctively turn to tell Minho about how cool it is, expecting him to be there, but the words die in my throat when I remember I'm not at the castle. Minho would walk with me when I picked books before. Before. Not anymore, not now. Instantly my eyes fill with tears and my vision gets blurry. I'm crying over him again.

He doesn't want you. He has Kayla now and he broke his promise to always protect me.

I bury my face in my hands to muffle my sobs. The promise Minho made in the library that one night echoing in my head,

"Sleep, I'll protect you. I promise."

I slide down the bookshelf and hug my knees to my chest. Everything feels wrong now that I'm back here. Now that Hyunjin is calling me Han Jisung. Now that Minho is no longer here. Now it's like my whole life is spiraling down into oblivion. Is this what it feels like to be in love? To lose someone you love? 

I hear rushed footsteps approaching me, "Shh, come here Ji." Hyunjin brings me into his embrace, and I cry into his shirt, trying to calm myself down. Jinnie whispers comforting words in my ear but somehow, they don't carry as much comfort as they used to. Now, all I want is to be in Minho's embrace, with him telling me everything is going to be okay. Just that thought makes me cry harder.

"Hannie, you have to forget him," Hyunjin suddenly whispers into my ear. I jerk back forcefully and escape the hug.

"How could you say that to me?! It's not that easy Hyunjin!" New tears flow down my cheeks, "I love him, and I will never forget so stop telling me that."

I abruptly stand up, deciding that I need to get out of this place. Hyunjin races after me and catches me before I can get out, "Hannie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."