If You Love Me, Get Clean

Chapter Twenty Three

June 2015

Can I stay here tonight with you?
I've made too many promises
We break 'em every time
And every consequence
We kiss between the lines
And do it all again
I guess I just feel better around you

Jenny sets down two tall glasses and drops into the booth. "Drink up," she says. "Plenty more where that one came from."

Alice eyes the glass closest to her. Magners. Alcohol. She hasn't exactly decided what her plans are in regard to her current womb situation, but might be best to avoid anything that could be considered dangerous. "Uh... I shouldn't really."

"What? Why not?" Jenny scowls over the rim of her drink. "We came to the pub to have a drink, that's the whole point."

Admittedly, Alice hadn't thought it through. "It was your suggestion, I just agreed. I should have a clear head in case Sherlock turns up at my place tonight."

Jenny's eyes roll. "That man takes over your life. Have one, it won't hurt."

She takes hold of the glass, feeling the condensation all over her fingers, and twists it on the table. With a small frown she shakes her head, deciding. "I can't," she says finally. "You can have it when you've finished your gin and tonic. I'll go get a Coke or something."

"I don't like Magners," she huffs. "But I won't waste it if you're really not going to have it."

"I'm really not."

"Fine," Jenny pulls the drink closer to her, disgruntled. "So, you've seen him then?" Jenny asks. "William, Sherlock, whatever I'm supposed to call him now."

Alice sighs and rests her chin on the heel of her palm. "He was in such a state, Jen," she says in a small voice, ignoring the hot prickling in her eyes. "I never wanted to see him like that again."

"I can't believe, that for someone who's meant to be a genius, how much of an idiot he is," Jenny says, shaking her head. "I mean really, after he got clean last time–"

"He didn't set out to get high," Alice defends. "It wasn't part of the plan, and putting himself in that environment was stupid, but... he was lonely, I know he was, after the wedding, and with me keeping a distance, I just thought he'd be okay. I could tell when we spoke on the phone... I should have–"

"It's not your fault," Jenny says firmly. "It's his. He's a twat. Seriously, don't even think about blaming yourself for this. He told you to keep clear of him for a while, he forced you to, all so he could go back to shooting up–"

Alice shakes her head. "No," she says vehemently. "That's not what it was. He didn't– It wasn't because of that. He's protecting me from something, not sure exactly what, but I believe him."

"He doesn't deserve you, you know," Jenny tells her, reclining in her seat, drink in hand with more than half of it gone already. "Doesn't deserve you one bit."

"Even if that's true," she mumbles, running a hand through her hair. "I'm all he's got."

"What about that mate of his? Your cousin. The short one."

Alice snorts. "John'll do his best but..." She shrugs. She's not sure John is the right person to be looking after a drug addled Sherlock Holmes, he doesn't have that kind of patience. Besides that, he'll be furious on her behalf, he'll use her pain as an excuse to lash out.

"Well," Jenny starts, clearly struggling to find something helpful to say. "Just count yourself lucky that he hasn't taken a run and jump off a roof again."