If You Love Me, Get Clean

Chapter Twenty Eight

January 2016

I've been having a hard time adjusting
I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting
I didn't know if you'd care if I came back
I have a lot of regrets about that
And maybe I don't quite know what to say
But I'm here in your doorway
I just wanted you to know
That this is me trying

She arrives home, slamming the door behind her, putting the security chain in place and double checking all the locks on her door. She knows she's probably overreacting. She had thought that with Moriarty dead she wouldn't have to worry about things like this again, and yet here she is, panicking at the thought of that lunatic having some kind of contingency plan. And Sherlock isn't here to stop it.

Shit timing, really.

"Alice."

She jumps, spinning around and leaning back against the front door, her heart loud and obnoxious in her ears. Then she sees him through the door at the end of the hallway, standing in the middle of the living room, looking as though he's never been away.

"Jesus Christ, Sherlock!" she clutches her chest, trying to steady her breathing. "Why– What– You're here."

He nods, his fingers twitching at his sides, and she steps towards him, soaking in his appearance.

Oh no.

"I'm sorry."

"We'll discuss it in a minute," she says, stumbling over to him and falling into his arms, feeling the real and solid weight of him. He's here and he's alive. That's all she needs to focus on right now. "Are you back?" she asks quietly. "Really back?"

"Yeah," he replies. "Given recent events."

"And he's back too? How?"

"I don't know," he murmurs, then presses a kiss to the top of her head. "But it's not him, it can't be, he's most definitely dead."

"D'you think whoever this is is going to come after you?" She knows the answer already, but needs to hear it come from his lips. She needs to know that he's prepared for whatever is about to happen, by being prepared he can make sure he doesn't lose.

"I should think so," he says with a sigh. "What is it with these irritating people who just won't stay dead?"

Alice's lips curve into a brief smile, but it doesn't last. She's far too worried. Just once, just once, she'd like to have a day where she doesn't have to worry about the man she loves getting murdered, or sent off on top secret government missions. Just once, she'd like to be able to go to sleep knowing that when she wakes up in the morning everything will be fine.

"I won't let them hurt you," Sherlock tells her quietly. "You know that, don't you?"

"I'm not worried about that," Alice says, and it's true. She is scared for everyone else, of course she is, but as for what happens to her? She hasn't really given that any thought. "I just want you to be safe." Her last conversation with Mycroft still plays on her mind, she knows she has to ask him. "Did you really kill Magnussen?"

"Yes." He says without hesitation.

"Why?"

"I made a mistake. I thought I had it all worked out but... I was wrong. I didn't have any other choice."

Alice pulls away from him so she can meet his eye. "The plan went to shit, didn't it?"

"Pretty much."