Lovesick Mafias-sequel to obsessive mafias-SEVENTEEN FF

Hate that...

Y/N couldn't explain what she was feeling right now. It was a horde of confusion that consumed her. It was all too much. Her father, Johnny being Joshua's half-brother and most probably Do-yoon was Taeyong and Ji-hoon's step-brother. It was like she was in a movie and all the secrets were revealed at the same time she couldn't process. And as much as she thought the emotions wouldn't matter to her, she was wrong.

She could feel their emotions too well.

Where Joshua looked dishevelled and confusingly raged, Ji-hoon had been quiet for some time now. Seungcheol left with Johnny and her father somewhere after taking Wonwoo and Dino with him. And others were with her. Strangely, she felt contempt in their presence. Though she could tell there were more than it seemed, she didn't know what to expect anymore.

Though to her relief, Jeonghan had regained consciousness though now he was asleep since doctors stabilized him with injections. His condition was still not fully well, but doctors assured he'd be better after the surgeries. His skin had burned to the flesh. And she couldn't bring herself to face him knowing she was the reason for that.

Now that she think of it, she recalled him telling her something before the bomb exploded.

Though she could guess what he said, she didn't want to dwell on it.

I love you.

And her heart shattered all at once.

Jennie had told her that forgiveness was necessary to move on, but did she even want to move on? She didn't want to hate anymore; it was petty and consuming. But did she even feel hatred? In reality, there was an emptiness inside her, a void that these men somehow filled. She realized with a cold clarity that these men would never let her go. Even if they repented, they could never let go of their initial instincts.

She thought she hated them, but the truth was far more disturbing. She didn't feel anything. There was a hollow void where her emotions should be. They had become her world, and in that twisted reality, she found a strange sense of belonging.

She was as dark and twisted as they were, and it terrified her. She was trapped in this cycle, unable to break free, and she wasn't sure she wanted to. It was too late to desire the life she once had. And did she even have a life to begin with? Even before them, she was suffering.

Her thoughts spiralled, pulling her deeper into an abyss she thought she had left behind. She fidgeted with her hands unconsciously, her fingers twisting and knotting together in a desperate dance. Panic started to rise within her, clawing at her insides. The realization that she was beginning to feel the same things she had back then—helplessness, confusion, a gnawing emptiness—crept over her like a cold shadow.

She stared at her hands, noticing how they trembled. Her heart pounded in her chest. She wanted to scream, to cry out, but her voice was trapped in her throat, stifled by the weight of her realization.

She was slipping back into that dark place, the one she had fought so hard to escape.

The panic intensified, her breathing slowly becoming shallow and rapid. She felt the walls closing in, the world narrowing to just her and her racing thoughts. She had thought she was stronger now, more resilient, but the truth was she was still the same broken person she had always been. The men who had become her twisted fate were just another manifestation of her suffering.

Her mind raced back to the moments of her past, the pain and the isolation.

She had never truly been free of it.

They had merely replaced one torment with another.

And now, the lines between them and her own darkness blurred. She was no different from them, and that realization was like a knife to her soul.