𝐑𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐑 || 𝐂𝐎𝐃 𝐗 𝐘/𝐍

-21-

"No laptops at the table," Price says at breakfast.

Captain picks up Gaz's computer as Gaz grab his notebook and pencil off it just in time, so it won't tumble to the floor. "This assignment is due." He argues. "I've been trying to upload it for an hour now, but the Internet keeps going out."

"Nobody cares." He closes the top and sets it on the counter. "Try again later."

Gaz frowns, but tosses his notebook and pen on the counter with the computer, giving in. 

I glance at König as he doles out oatmeal into my bowl. He must sense me watching, because he shoots his eyes over, meeting mine as he pours heaping scoops into the boys' bowls. I spot the slight curl of a smile, because he knows exactly what I'm thinking, but he quickly hides it again as he drops the ladle back into the pot.

I tuck my grin between my teeth, picking up my spoon.

The rest of the team walk in, Soap shivering as he slips off his coat and sits down at the table, while Ghost heads to the sink, washing his hands. I look out the window.

I try to ignore him. I really do, but how can I? He was inside me just several hours ago.

My thighs still hurt.

But as I eat my breakfast, I keep on getting flashbacks from the bathroom. The things he said to me.

"I love you, he says. "Ich liebe dich."

"How possessive I am with you." He grabs my face and brings me in, kissing me. "I forget about that. How we fight a lot about the dumbest stuff. How thoughtless and impatient I am."

"I want you happy, Y/N," he says low and husky in my ear. "I want my Charlie happy."

"I want you at the breakfast table in the morning and in my bed at night."

I don't think I could ever forget about that. 

He told me he loves me.

I didn't say it back. Did he mean it? Or was it just in-the-moment type thing? Was he just overwhelmed by the sex and didn't know what was spilling out of his mouth?

Yes, that's probably it. He had no idea what he was saying. 

He doesn't mean it, which means he's not upset that I didn't say it back. But don't I love him?

Didn't I have an entire pep talk with myself before seeing him? I do love him.

I don't know if I'm in love with him, though. It's probably the same with him. He loves me, I know it. But he isn't in love with me. I mean, why would he be? All I offered him was ass, and he took it and loved it. I think.

No, he isn't in love with me. It was just sex. Men like sex with no commitment.

But, deep down, there's a burning pain in my stomach -not because I was roughly fucked in the shower not five hours ago- where I'm desperate to be loved.

That's what I am; desperate.

Desperate to be loved.

And that's what last night was, desperation.

It wasn't love. It was stupid and it was a mistake.

I shouldn't have gone to his room at all. I should've just got myself water and gone back to bed.

Now I'll have to face him, face Charlie, face my teammates, knowing full well that I slept with a soldier just last night.

I'm a slut, aren't I? I don't deserve his love.

I mean, we hadn't even done anything before! We'd had one kiss, and that was it! 

God, I wish last night never happened at all.

✮

König's POV:

I'm so happy last night happened.

About time, too. I've been wanting to have a taste of her for so fucking long. Jesus Christus, ich werde nie genug von ihr bekommen, oder?

I need her, again and again and again. I'm obsessed. Obsessed. It's like I have this craving for her that never ceases no matter how hard I try to ignore it. But I don't need to ignore it anymore, she's mine, now. All mine.

She's given herself to me and I'm never giving it back, I would be a fool to do so. 

I'll love and cherish her to the day I die; I'll spoil her till the day I die. 

Till death do us part.

My thoughts always seem to drift back to Y/N, no matter how hard I try. The girl who captured my heart. I can't help but smile as I remember the way her eyes sparkle when she laughs, how her voice has a melody all its own. 

Every moment we spend together feels like a dream—one I never want to wake up from.

Especially last night.

My mind is filled with thoughts of her. I wonder what she's thinking about, if she ever thought about me the way I think about her. My heart ached with the desire to be near her, to tell her just how much she meant to me. For now, I could only hope that one day, she would feel the same way.

I leaned back against my chair, still lost in my thoughts about Y/N. I remember our last conversation, the way she had smiled shyly when I fare welled her, and how her cheeks had turned the slightest shade of pink. It was moments like those that made me believe there was a chance she might feel something for me, too.

I replayed every interaction we'd had, searching for signs that she might like me back. Did the way she lingered when we talked mean anything? Or the way she laughed a little louder at my jokes? I wish I could be braver, that I could just tell her how I feel without fearing I might scare her away. But what if she didn't feel the same? The thought of losing her friendship was too much to bear.

I sighed, running a hand over my mask and decided I would take it one step at a time. For now, I would cherish every moment we spend together, every smile, and every shared laugh. Maybe someday, I would find the courage to tell her the truth. Until then, I would hold onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, she was thinking of me, too.

✮✮✮

A/N

sorry it's short, I got no motivation at all

love reading all ur comments tho

plus 75k is crazy I never imagined to get this far, ty to all new rereaders n new readers <333

lets aim for 100k so other people can read this too bc cmon... everyone needs a little soldier romance in their life.

also isn't the gif above js so cute like omg my house wife is so pretty positioned like that

anyways, bye