On Your Way ✓

Chapter 11.

3rd person POV:

Trigger warning ahead.

"Do you know everything, seonghee?" Taehyung asked when she sat down in front of him after signing the papers and closing the documents. She signalled for jungkook to sit on the table as well which he did.

"Not exactly but yes. Yeah I have an idea about what happened. I still don't know your side though." She replied and jungkook too, wanted to add that he never got to know about his side either but taehyung just looked up at both of them and gave a tight lipped smile.

"There's no my side. I hurt you both with my actions. That's all there is to know." He said as he took another bite of the soup that he still had some left. Everything left a bitter taste in his mouth, didn't feel like soup could fix that but he could try.

"But I want to know too. We deserve to know." Jungkook finally voiced out but taehyung just shrugged.

"I don't think anything justifies me ruining the lives of not 1 but two people. It should've been a me problem yet I dragged you both with me and ended up hurting you." Taehyung placed the spoon down and tried to dismiss it but jungkook was adamant. He had spent years just trying to figure out what exactly was going on with the elder, seonghee had spent years with him just trying to get him to talk so she could fix things and none of them knew a thing about him. They deserved to know.

"Your life seems more destroyed than ours, and I'm not trying to compare anything because even though you might be in more pain, we are still hurt. We want to know and it's been too long, you have to tell us, taehyung."

"It's up to us to decide if it is enough to explain your actions or not." Seonghee added.

"A bit embarrassing to say that I did everything I did because of my mother. And that even at the age of almost 30, her words still affect me." Taehyung sighed, looking at his own hands that weren't shaking anymore , guess the medicine was starting to work.

"I will try. Just when I was 5, my father cheated on my mother with another man. She grew to be controlling, and abusive towards me. It was pretty clear that I wasn't into women since I was a child and every time she would catch me with a boy even if I wasn't doing anything, the consequences weren't pretty. She found out I kissed a boy when I was 13, I couldn't go out for the next 5 years after that. I was locked inside the house with no devices either unless she needed me to go with her somewhere. You can say I was completely disconnected from the world for that period of time.

I completed high school by homeschooling and fought my mother to let me attend University in person, where 2 years later I met jungkook. I couldn't fight the feeling anymore but I couldn't accept it either. I managed to hide it for a while even though I knew it was hurting jungkook. Even when I felt so much for him, I kept going on the dates my mother would arrange for me every other week just so she wouldn't get suspicious because I knew what happened the last time.

I just.. wanted to be normal even though I was.. even though jungkook was everything to me. Every time I was with him I had to fight my own self. When girls would kiss me, I'd let them, thinking I could experience normalcy even if it was for a second. I would think that maybe it would change me but it never happened. It just made me feel more and more disgusted in myself.

I was getting tired, I had a big fight with my mother, I tried bringing up the topic that I might not be into women, that I might never marry one, that I might have someone in my life and it might not be a woman. I wanted to reveal it to her but she's not naive, she read through the lines and it was really.. really bad. I even threatened her that I will run away and will never ever contact her again but she said she wouldn't allow it and that she will get me married to some woman and I refused that immediately, the fight just kept getting worse and worse.

So I ran away from her and went to jungkook, he ended things the same day and I knew I was too late. The same day, I went back home again. I yelled and screamed at my mother because I couldn't handle everything that was going on.

Then she showed me seonghee's picture and she said she talked to her parents and is talking about my marriage with her and I refused, I packed my bags and was about to leave I didn't care if I had to live in the streets for a while but then.. she picked up a knife and threatened to slit her throat and she was serious because there was already blood dripping from the knife. She wasn't just bragging. She said I'd be the reason she died if I refuse to say yes to this marriage and if I tried to run away. Who wants to be the reason behind their mother's death anyways. I had to say yes.

If I had chosen my fate already, I thought I'd give it a try. Maybe.. maybe I might still have a chance at life. I tried to love seonghee. I thought I could do it. I tried my best but I couldn't. Every time I slept I kept dreaming about another man, jungkook.

It was around an year after the marriage when I met jimin, one of our mutual friends back then who I had lost contact with after marriage. We caught up, he talked about jungkook and told me that he left for New York forever. I don't know why I was in so much pain when I heard your name after so long. I got shitfaced that day and I just couldn't pretend anymore after that. I waited for seonghee to end things, but she never did. And I knew if I did it first, my mother would.. she would threaten me again.

I had made peace with the fact that I can never have that happiness again, had made peace with the fact that I bring nothing but unhappiness to people's lives and I knew that I will never even get to apologise to jungkook for everything I did to him then I saw you, two days ago. I had thoughts about ending it all when i could see the way he.. despised my existence and rightfully so. But I ended up fainting before I could even do anything." Taehyung wasn't crying anymore, didn't think he even had tears left in him anymore. He could feel some kind of numbness taking over his body. He stopped speaking and the others knew he was done explaining everything but he didn't even look up to see their reactions to everything he said.

The two didn't know how to react anyways.

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