the kids aren't alright | brallon a.u | dallon's song |

The Madness Of Two

We held hands, walking around the mall, searching for new clothes for Dallon. He hadn't felt up to it recently because of people finding out about his 'problems' . I mean, I guess I don't really understand but it was only his father, Principal Iero, Nurse Ellie and I that found out, no body else. Then again, I would feel pretty drained if I had to pour my deep dark thoughts to my father. That's why I'm going to make it up to him- hence why we are here at the mall, holding each other's hands. I also brought him here to eat and hopefully I'll get him on the right track of eating again.

"Wanna go eat first, or keep looking for clothes?" I ask.

"Bren, I'm not really hungry."

"Eating it is then!" I turn around, bringing him with me and we, well I drag Dallon to the place that I call heaven; The Food Court.

I first buy him an iced coffee at Starbucks, fries at another booth, and a chicken sandwich at the last booth on the left side of the food court. We sit near the small fountain where you could toss coins and make a wish. I thought it would be nice to listen to the water pouring as we ate, and Dallon did enjoy it.

He took small bites of the sandwich which wasn't much, but it was a start, and I was proud of him. But he did drink the coffee very quickly which was great.

I finished my sandwich a while back, and it seemed he didn't mind either. I took the time to observe him, observe his features. Today, he was wearing a bit of eyeliner, and a very light shade of cream coloured lip gloss, and he looked nice. Like really nice. I wanted to ask him about what pronouns I should use, but I felt like it would be a bit rude if I did. What if Dallon was just experimenting with it? It would be a bit awkward if I did ask him. Then again he was my boyfriend and I did make it clear we didn't have to keep secrets.

"Hey Babe?" He blushes at the nickname and I smile.

"I don't want to seem rude, but I just wanted to know if you wanted me to use specific pronouns.."

He goes a bit pale, and puts down his sandwich. "I-erm-I haven't figured that out yet, you can use he/him for now I guess,sorry." He apologizes.

"No! That's okay! You take your time, and what ever you choose, just know that I will always be there for you." I tell him and smile, he smiles, a few tears plopping down on his sandwich. "Thank you," he smiles and pulls me in for a side hug. "It's nothin' Dal," I reply.

After a while of shopping, I've spent a total of 362 dollars on Dallon, and that was okay. I actually enjoyed spending money on him.

I would get to see him in clothes that make him look absolutely adorable. For example, he got 5 pairs of dark blue women's skinny jeans which brought out the shape of his thighs. I bought him some hoodies, knitted sweaters, I insisted him of buying some button ups and bow ties so when he felt ready he could wear short sleeved shirts.

We were on our way home when I got a call from my mother. I picked up the phone, using one hand to hold the phone the other firmly on the steering wheel. "Brendon, I need you to come home right away, and you don't have to worry about dropping of Dallon off, I informed his father that he would be staying here, I just need you to be here- now," My mother sounded serious. She hung up and I sped up. "What's wrong Bren?"

"I don't know but, my mom sounded serious, so we need to get home fast" I say and go over the speed limit by 10 miles.

When we arrive, I tell Dallon to head up to my room and I go into the kitchen where my mother and father are. "What going on?"

"It's about dallon's Fath-"

"What about dallon's Father?" I say quickly cutting off my father.

"He's looking for Dallon's Mother." My mom says. But Dallon's mother is dead?

"But she's dead?" I tell them.

"The whole thing was a cover up, dallon's mother had cancer, it was curable too, she just took a drug to slow her heartrate, and paid the Doctor to tell dallon and his father that she was dead." My father said.

"That little-" use kind words Brendon, she might have a valid reason to leave. "Why did she leave?"

"The doctor fessed up and said 'to get away from that embarrassment of a family," my mother says sadly. my heart hurt, it hurt for Dallon, It hurt because he worshipped his mother, he believed that his mother always loved him, but seasons change, and so do people, I guess.

"And we're going to go with him," my mother says. I perk my head up, my eyes probably the size of the moon as I look at them. "Why?"

"Because we need to make sure he comes back to his boy alive." My father says, "W-When are you guys leaving?" I ask.

"Tomorrow around 7 in the morning."

"How long will you be away?", "Where is Dallon going to live?", "where are we going to live?"

"Brendon, calm down, we'll call you everyday. We won't know how long, but we'll try to come back after a couple of weeks if we haven't found anything. And about you and Dallon? Dallon's father doesn't want Dallon to be alone so you'll live with him for the time being." My mom says and puts her hands on my shoulders.

"Okay, what do I tell Dallon?"

"The truth." My father says. I nod and I take a deep breath in, I pull them in for a hug and choke out a sob, "You need to find her, you need to find her, because she doesn't deserve the love Dallon has for her- and-and it's been eating him away, knowing that she isn't dead."

"I know, I know.We will try our best, alright Bren, just take care of him."

+++

I walk up to my room and Dallon is there sprawled out on the bed. He looks so at peace, oh god, I hate doing this. He looks at me and smiles, sitting up, crossing his legs and putting his hands on his feet. I sit on the corner of the bed, a wave of guilt passing through me. I give him a small smile, and cough. "What's up, Bren?" Dallon asks and crawls behind me, slinging his arm around me, and placing his chin on my shoulder.

"I-um- your mother- she's uh-alive."

He pulls his arm away from me and pulls himself away from me. I turn to him, and he has a look of belief on his face. "You're lying." He croaks.

"Babe, I would never lie, to you, I know it's hard to believe but, it's true okay. My parents and your dad are going to look for her okay?"

A few tears plip out of his eye and I pull him to me, "When they find her, you won't have to talk to her okay, it's on your decision okay?" he nods and kisses my chin.

We stay like this, I holding him in my arms, for a while and he asks me a question, "Can we make out?"

"Sure." I reply and chuckle, locking my lips with his, slyly slipping my tongue into his mouth.

+++

After a while, I packed all of my clothes and all of my albums and put them in my car. My mother also gives us two crates of food that we can heat up and make quickly.My father gives me 100 dollars for groceries and every week after we use the money would put it on my credit card, which I was thankful for.

Dallon was quiet the whole entire way there, listening to music on his phone. Occasionally humming the lyrics and singing them softly, thinking that I wouldn't hear him. I did. And his voice sounded like heaven.

We got to his house and put our things in the living room and I tell him that I will bring the rest of the things. When I come back, I see him sprawled out on the floor, eyes droopy. I chuckle and lie down next to him, using my hands as pillows. Dallon turns to me and clings himself to my body. Chuckling, I wrap my one arm around his back and kiss head full of hair.

"Goodnight Bren,"

"Goodnight Dally."
I love you so much.