the kids aren't alright | brallon a.u | dallon's song |

Stay Together For The Kids

If I said I was fine I would be lying. The truth is, that I was dying when I was trying to find my other half around the school while being harassed by other students.

Of course the words stung me, but what stung more is that was what Dallon had to go through everyday for years. And I didn't come into his life sooner. It was my fault that he was like this. Maybe if I had stepped in sooner, he would have been better.

And when we were driving, Dallon's silence made me feel one hundred times worse. Of course, after that phone call with his mother he started talking, but I knew he was just laughing through the pain, talking through it, smiling through it. Five hours earlier he had been ready to jump off of a bridge! I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. How to feel.

I needed a form of relapse, not like Dallon's way of relapsing that was way to destructive. Drinking would be fine right? Fuck, if I said it's fine. It's fine.

+++

We made it to Grand Rapid around 7 o'clock, my uncles' had one of the largest apartment buildings in the cities, so we had to make our way through the crowded parking lot and up and in the large and tall building where we would (most likely) be spending the rest of our teens and twenties there.

My uncle Phil, helped me with my things while my other uncle, Dan, helped with Dallon's things. They were nice people, smart, bearable people. They understood why we needed to leave so quickly. It put me off of the edge for a while.

When we got inside Dallon and I plopped on the bed and he started to cry again. This time, it gave me a headache. I didn't exactly know why. I really didn't but he never gave me a headache.

Why was this time so different?

I didn't comfort him really I just lay next to him, watching as he cried. God, he needs to calm the fuck down. My life was ruined too here.

"Dallon, do you need some of your pills or something?" I ask with a snap and he looks up at me.

"W-what?" He stutters out sniffing loudly which made me roll my eyes.

"I said do you need your meds." It wasn't a question.

.+Dallon's Point Of View+.

Brendon was really scaring me. His mood changed quickly, at first he was ready to make me feel better, you know singing to me on the car, tickling me. Everything. Now he had this tone in his voice that he was just so done with me. It made me feel worse than I already was.

"So is that a yes?" He snaps.

"What the fuck did I do wrong?" I say my voice already cracking and breaking a damn of tears ready to be unleashed.

"You are acting like you are the only victim here. I got caught in this shit too you know."

I'm sorry I react differently to situations!

"Sorry." I sniffle.

"Don't say sorry. I'm tired of you saying it." He's tired of you.

You ruin everything don't you see! Look! You destroyed your boyfriend's life! You fuck everything up face it!

"Fuck." I stand up from the bed and kick the desk next to me.

"Why the fuck am I such a fuck up! Shit!" I cry putting my hands in my hair yanking at the strands.

He chuckles. Oh I've had it with you!

"LEAVE! I DON'T NEED YOU ANYMORE. YOU RUINED MY LIFE. I WANTED TO DIE AND YOU 'SAVED' ME! THEN YOU REPAY ME WITH BEING AN ASS HOLE. I DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT ME. I AM ABSOLUTELY DONE WITH YOU. SORRY FOR BEING A BIG FUCKING MISTAKE!" I shout at him, now he was standing, afraid of me.

"Dally-"

"Don't you 'Dally baby' me! You heard me the first time! I am done with you! Leave! I could care less! I could finally die without having you save my sorry ass!" I yell this time pushing his chest with my finger.

Brendon looks at me sighs and let's out a 'fine'

"Good luck finding your own way home with out any money, bitch."

And then he left shutting the door, making me flinch.

"Damn it." Falling to the floor, holding my hands in my hair, I fucked up everything now.

Maybe I will kill myself. It's not like I have anyone to stop me.

+++

Brendon never came back. I cut my arms so much I couldn't make it to the bed. It was early morning now, probably 5 o'clock. Couldn't really tell though, the bathroom doesn't have any windows. As a matter of fact, I'm not really sure if this is the day after Brendon left me. I think it's the day after that. Maybe a week. Month? Fuck, who knows now.

I'm practically dead with out him. And I could care fucking less, he could go fucking die for all I care. I would be fine. I'm fine.

I never really needed Brendon in the first place! I could've survived on my own. All the hugs he gave me weren't needed. All the kisses weren't really great. I didn't even love the fucking guy. Annoying is all I have to say. I could keep on going forever naming things that are annoying about him.

The laugh he made was so fucking annoying. Oh and he smelled... like an un-wiped ass. The way he held me, it made me feel- it made me feel...

Fuck, I'm never going to get him back aren't I?

+++

fin.