Birth of a star

Moonlit path

A/N TW ED please take care of urself babe.

"You really tried to gain weight back then?"

"Yeah it seems funny I know" Ayden chuckled "everyone was shocked but I did, it never worked too insanely well though. I just put on a little chub on my hips"

"Yeah," Bryan definitely hadn't noticed that.

"But I guess I never did it 'right', I just ate more, I never ate enough protein or fat, hell I still don't."

"Did you ever try out those protein bars? The wafer ones?"

"No I didn't, I should though," Ayden tan a hand through their hair," Work just always gets in the way and I guess it's nice being skinny, people never ask me if I'm on a diet. That's a plus."

Aydens words started getting quieter, and their hand circled the rim of their cup nervously.  Bryan's eyes seemed too frightening to look up to, not because Ayden thought he would be upset, no far worse.

"Maybe the problem is the people you hang around."

There it was. The sentence no one who's had an eating disorder wants to hear. You can say it's a societal thing, you can blame their parents, but even though you don't think you're blaming them, it still feels like it. Ayden subconsciously heard 'you did it to yourself' related by their father again and again. Flashes of the sky filtering through the boards of their deck blinded them back into Bryan's face.

"Not that that's a decision you really get to choose, but seriously, who the hell just asks someone if they're on a diet? That's kinda wierd"

"Yeah I guess, people asked me all the time. 'Oh Ayden that's my dream body how do you do it?' 'I need to lose ten pounds before vogue, any tips' 'do you purge, no your teeth are too good' 'how many calories do you eat in a day' 'there's no way you look like that and still eat!' It really never ended, it's not all the time now but uh, yeah,"a pause," kinda everyone, I guess everyone is weird"

"That's horrible," Bryan's face had dropped a paragraph ago, but the concern in his eyes was tangible.

"It's fine really," Ayden sipped their latte, "what about you? Still freaked out when you have to shave"

Poking fun at Bryan was so easy for Ayden. Bryan grew up the loser kid even among his band mates, so he wore all those nicknames on his sleeve. Ayden always meant it in good fun, which Bryan found different and interesting. Aydens words never really cut deep into Bryan's skin, even when they should have. Bryan just kinda knew that even when they said the wrong thing, they never meant it.

"Yeah, the razors just gonna get a kind of it's own. Gosh that scene in Moonlit was something else, what were they thinking in the writing department? I mean I know they didn't get paid well back then but we're they actually insane?"

"Don't give them too much shit now Bryan, that movie made us" Ayden retorted.

"True. I really wouldn't be here without the stunt money, I probably would've starved in Santa Monica if we hadn't gotten that big break."

"Yeah, I remember how often we were sleeping on friends couches. We should've just moved in together!"

That stirred something. In the both of them. Ayden meant it as a joke but really, it would've been nice to have Bryan around. A reminder to eat, to sleep, ti slow down and enjoy the good parts. Bryan was shocked from the outset, it had crossed his mind a million times, what life could've been like. A little apartment in Clay Street, dropping each other off at sets, going home and getting to make his moms recipes to share, walking the carpets together. But Ayden practically lived in a trailer 24/7, and Bryan was busy shacking up with every other chick he slept with.

"Yeah, that would've made life easier, fewer bills," Bryan laughed it off.

They met at 10:30, by 12:00 their cups were empty and their stomachs were full. Ayden got called to go do a consultation, one of the models they had worked with was getting married. Bryan went and had to pick Amber up for a meeting.  Bryan stood up to grab his keys.

"Do you want to come over tonight?" Ayden blurted out, Bryan stared at him a moment," if you don't want to it's fine I just-"

"Yeah," Bryan's face finally snapped back to reality," yeah that'd be great, I'll text you".

"Great, I uh- I've gotta go," Ayden scurried out to their car parked in the back of the cafe, they had settled the bill half an hour ago when they went to the bathroom.

Bryan was still standing by the table for a beat. He saw Ayden close the back door and finally he breathed. He didn't really know how long he had been holding his breath. It could've been when Ayden started talking or maybe after he said yes, in any case he gathered his thoughts and went out the front door to go pick up Amber.

13:15

"You're late," furrowed brows and a scrunched up blazer greeted him on the doorstep.

"I got sidetracked, my bad" Bryan tried to apologize and get going, but Amber had more to say once she was buckled in.

"Great! Now when I finally get to meet the director for the new Poly series I'm going to be late because my bodyguard cant use a watch. Which by the way," her hands made shapes and accusations of their own in the air," what exactly am I paying you for? To guard my instagram likes, I'm sitting at home, ALONE, and you're off what? Gallivanting around Hollywood with your little stunt double buddies? Or were you hooking up with some model? Maybe you were doing lines with that guy from the party!" Ambers grating, angry voice filled the car.

"I've waited SIX MONTHS for this meeting and you just orange up to the apartment late? Are you kidding me Bryan! I understand that you're a profesional or whatever but if you're going to be late than I don't understand why I bothered getting a security detail!"

Bryan slammed on the brakes at the next red light. The whole car jolted forward and Ambers necklace floated in the air for a moment. 

"I'm sorry ok! I was catching up with people and don't forget that you hold the cash but I have the connections, I have the buddies, I have the know how. You may have been in the scene but you weee not in the green room with the rest of us. Me and Ayden and all of my friends worked out asses off to get here and you orange in from fucking Minnesota and think that because mommy and daddy flew you out a few times for shows that you're big"

"I NEVER SAID I WAS A BIGSHOT"Amber yelled back before a car horn blared from behind them.

The rest of the ride they say in silence. Amber was more hurt than anything, she liked having Bryan around. She liked him being there in the flat, it was nice not being alone. She was upset because in her mind, him being late was uncaring and stupid. What could he have possibly been doing? She wasn't going to date him  or anything but a little respect would have been nice. Bryan was just upset that he didn't get to process anything before she started yelling at him. They could've talked it out but instead they sat in silence until they got to the office building just north of town.