Healing Hearts

25 || past secrets

Mateo ⋆｡°✩

I didn't mean any of what i said.

Maybe, deep down, i wished i did—that our lives would be better off without each other—but i couldn't do it.

The words barely left my mouth, my voice almost cracking as i watched her face change with pain.

It hurt me more than she could ever know.

It's true, i am no good for her.

I'll end up hurting her more than she already is, even though that's the last thing i want.

The past few nights, without her in my arms, have been unbearable. I tried to sleep, closing my eyes and pretending she was there, hell, i even tried hugging my pillow, but nothing felt right without her.

The only reason i didn't panic when she didn't come home was because i knew she'd stay with Melina, Elias had told me.

She's strong, and i trust her completely, but i don't trust the world around her.

I keep trying to distance myself to protect her, but i can't. Seeing the pain and anger in her eyes is killing me when all i want is to be the person she so deeply loves.

Sitting on my bike, waiting for the red light to turn green, i felt tears threatening to fall.

My head has been a mess, and i've barely slept three hours in total the past days. I can't pretend as if i don't care anymore.

I'm tired of having to protect the only girl i love from my own self.

I checked my phone and saw Elias's reply, after telling him to take care of the girls.

Once the light turned green, i sped through the highway, knowing exactly where i was heading. Tears rolled down my face, wiped away by the wind. I could almost smell her vanilla and strawberry scent on my helmet, making my heart race even faster.

I parked my bike lazily, threw my helmet aside, and ran a hand through my hair, exhaustion written all over my face. As i walked towards the entrance, i saw him standing there as if he knew i was coming.

His muscles were tense, but not from fear, and his suit almost made him look like a decent man. He inhaled his cigarette and watched me approach, my fists clenched and teeth gritted.

"You're early," he said in a low, warning tone, his eyes scanning me with a mix of confusion and irritation.

"Stop what you're doing," i pleaded, my voice low and desperate. He crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow, his lips curling into a mocking smirk.

"Let me think about it," he said, tapping his finger to his lip in a mocking and sarcastic way. Bastard.

"No," he finally said, almost smiling, happy to have control over me.

"I'm not coming here anymore. Don't expect to see me," i threatened, and he tilted his head in confusion.

"Oh, but you are," he smirked.

"Oh, but I'm not," i retorted, my gaze fixed on the guards behind him.

"You know you will come back every single time, according to your schedule," he said, almost bored.