yakuza! yuta x camboy! winwin
In which Sicheng just wants to follow his dreams, and Yuta just wants to spoil him.
started 07-27-24 / finished 08-19-24
#10 in Yuwin
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This was the most exposed he'd ever felt, even if Yuta was a complete stranger, his eyes didn't pierce right through Sicheng like Shotaro's did. It made him uncomfortable, and that should've been visible to Shotaro.
He could tell that he was younger than Yuta, though wouldn't have guessed the age difference to be so drastic. Although, Sicheng wasn't really into young guys. I guess since he's never really dated, he shouldn't be the judge.
"Hello, gorgeous." Most Japanese men that Sicheng has encountered tend to have higher voices than him, but his was a bit more tonal. Sicheng let out an awkward laughter, "Hi there..." That was followed up by an uncomfortably long silence.
"I feel so lucky, I bet there's a lot of men who would be jealous of me right now." Something in Sicheng changed in that moment, a rather guileful thought. He wanted Yuta to be jealous, he knew that Yuta was the type based off of past exchanges, picturing what he'd look like angry turned Sicheng on.
"You're right, I bet they are~" He playfully flirted, sparking a spicy reply "What would you want me to do to you?" His voice became sensual in nature. "I want you to rail me," He didn't. "Make me see stars." He wouldn't. "That sounds so fucking sexy."
God, his voice was such a turn off. Sicheng didn't like his features either, his long philtrum made him appear almost older than Yuta, yet his high cheek bones felt more youthful. Culminating a look that, whilst conventionally attractive, did not do anything remarkable for Sicheng.
What kept him hard as a rock was his mind in full focus on Yuta's jealousy. He liked how special he felt, because he had the power to create such emotions for Yuta, even if he would never intentionally let him know that this ever happened.
He didn't dress up the way he did for Yuta, not even just because it wasn't Yuta, but because he physically couldn't do it. He was lethargic, didn't want something uncomfortable on his skin, so he had an oversized back T-shirt on.
It was so soft, and it had a band design on it with tour dates on the back side. Sicheng loved this T-shirt on days he felt like this, and wearing it with nothing else was a kill shot to Shotaro's libido. Fuck, his milky inner thighs almost distracted from his beguiling face.
He wasn't a gentleman, he didn't wait for Sicheng to start. He started pumping his cock at a steady pace, meanwhile, Sicheng grabbed his wand vibrator. He had quite the collection of sex toys, by now, a worthy investment for his line of work. He turned it on and put it against his hard cock, immediately throwing his head back at the sensation.
The vibrations against his sensitive tip were divine, it didn't matter, now, that Shotaro wasn't attractive to him. He was too high off of the pleasure, and too drunk off of his unkempt feelings for Yuta.
Luckily, it didn't take much for Shotaro to finish, in fact he didn't even wait for Sicheng to cum himself. It only furthered his aversion, Shotaro was the opposite of Yuta and it was so irritating to him. He wanted Yuta to see him, wanted Yuta's lustful gaze, wanted Yuta's touch, his skin, him.
He closed his eyes and imagined Yuta's mouth on his cock, Yuta making an exception to their typical roles because of Sicheng's physical condition. The thought was enough to make his pretty cock explode with cum, he felt so overwhelmed with feelings he didn't even fully comprehend.
"That was amazing." Shotaro breathlessly stated, "Thank you for supporting me." Is all Sicheng could muster as a reply, one of them clearly enjoyed themselves more than the other. It wasn't Sicheng's proudest moment.
But he was in a deep state of wanting, he was yearning, for only one thing. Something deeper than the ocean.
As he hit the cushion of his shikibuton style bed, he lied there, paralyzed by his thoughts. Slowly consumed by the cold air hitting his skin. He felt awful, truly awful. His rash actions were regrettable, and with a more clear mind, somehow he felt disgusting.
In a way he never had before camming, because it always felt like he had a choice. This, this felt like objectification. And the reality of Yuta finding out hit him like a brick, he's not in a fantasy world where everything goes his way.
He'd made his bed and now he'd have to lie in it, and if Yuta found out, he'd probably fire him. Which was the most stressful thing of all, because after months of this arrangement, he'd become accustomed to this lifestyle. He didn't want to go back to barely making it.
The panic consumed him for a while, heart racing at the speed of lightning. But then, it dawned on him, this was the type of intense emotion felt by the lead of a josei manga.
All this time, he'd been too ambivalent.
But for once in his life, he'd finally felt something complex, something graspable. Emotions were an integral part of writing something like this, the most physical daunting thing a writer could ever do.
He discarded his worries when he made this realization, the realization that he'd grown weak with the style of life that is impossible to just acquire. Pages were scattered on the floor, ink from his dip pen was not contained.
It looked like the work of a mad man, like Frankenstein's monster was being cast to life. None of that mattered to Sicheng, he had to capture this feeling.
He designed a lead female character and a lead male character, carefully assigned traits to both. Instead of Yuta's occupation being unknown, he was a businessman. And unlike Sicheng, the female lead was just a waitress.
Instead of paying for cam services, he pays her to make dinner for him and only him. But just like Sicheng, she becomes attached to him, and gets jealous when she sees him with another woman, even if their relationship is transactional.
She cooks for another man in retaliation, and even if the business man hadn't found out yet, the conviction of guilt began to consume her. He hadn't planned more than that, but at least he had two chapters with actual plot.
Not only that, but he could write introspectively for the lead easier if he'd felt love. Even if the plot wasn't similar at all, he would be a fool if he said that writing the feeling of love when you've never felt it, was possible.
He illustrated the panels so carefully, time and detail put in to ensure that the quality was outstanding enough to bring attention to his work in a sea of other manga artists.
Even when his hands hurt, when he was physically exhausted past the point of going any longer, his passion drove him to keep going, to push himself until he passed out – pen in hand.
If he could say anything, it was that Yuta opened up a whole new world for him. Yuta's vast ocean was an isekai to Sicheng.
But instead of being washed away by the current, he was unfazed by fear, he only wanted to travel further into deep sea. Even if just to have a small chance to touch Atlantis.
