Tris the trainer

forgiving them

Tobias pov:

Six leads us out of the dining hall and along the paths of that surround the Pit. Will is on my left and Christina is on my right.

"I never really apologized," Will says quietly. "For not being there for you, for not helping you when you needed a friend, for not believe in you. I don't know what was wrong with me."

"Ditto," Christina adds.

I know I have to forgive them, but I don't want to. They never listened, or bothered to try to understand. I also know what Six meant by needing protection. And to get that I need to forgive them.

I look back over to Will, then to Christina. They both have big eyes full of hope and regret.

"Let's just forget about it." I say. I still want to be angry, but I have to let my anger go.

We climb higher than I have gown before, and I am utterly terrified. Im trying to keep my emotions in check, but I know I'm not doing a good enough job by Christina's glances at me.

The next time Christina looks at me, I look at her. Our eyes meet and then she grabs my arm like she's scared, and I give her a grateful look. She's leading me her strength, when I need it most. She's already started making up for those few days of betrayal.

Six turns around and starts walking backwards,on a narrow path with no railings. How well does she know this place? I shiver just thinking about doing that.

Six eyes Drew, who trudges at the back of the group, and says, "Pick up the pace, Drew!"

It's a cruel joke, but it's hard for me to fight off a smile. That is until Six eyes shift to Christina's arm around me, and all the humour and lightheartedness drains from them. Her expression sends chills down my spin. Is she... jealous?

We keep walking up the paths towards the glass ceiling. For the first time in days, I see the sun.

Six leads us up a flight of metal stairs leading us through a hole in the ceiling. They creak underneath my feet, and it takes everything I have to resist the urge to look down, because if I do, I may not be able to stop my self from screaming like a little girl.

We walk across the glass, which is now a floor rather than a ceiling, through a cylindrical room with glass walls.

Instead of me focusing on the fear making it hard for me to breath, I focus on the surrounding buildings. They are half collapsed and most likely abandoned, which is probably why I never noticed the Dauntless compound before. The Abnegation sector is also very far away.

There are Dauntless milling around the room, talking in clusters. At the edge of the room there are two Dauntless fighting with sticks, laughing when one of them misses and hits the air. I want to yell at them to stop before something terrible happens. Like one of them missing and hitting there stick to hard on the glass wall and breaking it, making us fall to our death.

My focus goes back to Six, who leads us through another door. Beyond it is a huge, dank room with concrete walls with pipes exposed and fluorescent lighting. It looks like it haven't been used in ages.

"This," Six says, her eyes bright in the pale light. "Is a different kind of simulation known as the fear landscape. It has been disabled for our purposes. So this isn't what it's going to look like the next time you see it."

Behind her, the word "Dauntless" is spray painted in red, artistic, lettering.

"Through your simulations, we have stored data about your worst fears. The fear landscape access's that information and presents you with a series of obstacles. Some of the obstacles will be fears you previously faced, but some of them may be new to you. The difference between this stage and stage two is the fact that you are aware in your simulation. So you will have all of your wits about you as you go through the sim."

I am so relived. Everyone will be like Divergent in the fear landscape. I can't be detected.

But then it hits me: I don't have an advantage anymore.

Six continues, "the number of fears you have in your landscape varies according to how many you have."

How many will I have? I've only ever faced three fears, and those have already consumed every waking moment of my life. I don't know if I could handle having any more fears. I don't know how Will and Christian and everyone else dose it, because I know for a fact they have faced mor wears than me. I hear them talking about it.

"I told you before that the third stage of initiation focuses on mental preparation," Six says. I remember when she said that. On the first day. Right before she put a gun to Peters head. I wish she pulled the trigger.

"This is because it requires you to control both your emotions and your body- to combine the physical abilities you learned in stage one with the emotional mastery you learned in stage two. To keep a level head."

Six stops scanning the initiates and focuses her stare on me.

"Next week you will go through your fear landscape as quickly as possible in front of a panel of Dauntless leaders. That will be your final test, which determines your rankings for stage three. Just as stage two of initiation is weighed more heavily than stage one. Stage three is weighed the heaviest of all. Understand?"

We all nod. Even Drew, who makes it look painful.

If I do well in my final test, I have a very good chance of making it in the top ten and therefore a member of Dauntless. The thought makes me almost giddy with relief.

"You can get past each obstacle in one of two ways. Either you find a way to calm down enough that the simulation registers a normal, steady heartbeat, or you find a way to face your fear which can force the simulation to move on. Say your fear is drowning. You could face your fear by swimming deeper" Six shrugs. "So I suggest that you take the next week to consider your fears and develop a strategy to face them."

"That doesn't sound fair," says Peter like the whiney little kid he is. "What if one person only has seven fears and someone else has twenty? That's not there fault."

Six stares at him for a few seconds than laughs. "Do you really want to talk to me about what's fair?" She says as cool as a freezer.

The crowd of initiates all but fall over to make a path for her as she walks over to Peter. "I understand why you're worried, Peter. The events of last night certainly proved that you are a miserable coward." She says looking Peter right in the eye.

Peter stares back, expressionless.

"So now we all know," says Six quietly, "that you are afraid of a shy, skinny, boy from Abnegation." Her mouth curls into a smile.

I know Six needed to find a way to make me sound weak, but one of the reasons I'm here is so people don't think of me like that. It hurts that she see's me like that.

But besides all of that, I am able to smile.

I am so sorry I haven't updated in so long. I'll try to get on a better updating schedule.
Hope you enjoy😘 and sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes.