I WROTE A SONG ABOUT GETTING BETTER

Coming Undone

2019

"Congratulations!" The whole room yelled at midnight, directing their attention to all of Bad Omens in the middle of the room. Their new album Finding God Before God Finds Me had just dropped. I fought Bryan about being at this party with the rest of Knocked Loose, but my brother can be very convincing.

Noah and have texted here and there the last year, but nothing has ever come of it. He has been so busy with this album and I have been so busy with work as well as assisting my brother and the rest of the band with their new album. It was not as well as anticipated as Bad Omens' new album but Bryan doesn't care. He just wants to make music and live his best life - exactly what he's doing.

"You made it!" Nick yelled over the music at me. "Hey! Congratulations!" I gave him a hug and could see Noah walking up behind him. I'm glad these lights are dim because my cheeks immediately heated up, damnit.

"Hi." Noah greeted me with a sheepish grin and his hands tucked into his pockets. He looked handsome in a button down black shirt and slacks. He looks like he has been working out more, and his hair is still as gorgeous as ever. "You look great." He added, motioning towards my short olive green dress.

"Thank you. Congratulations by the way." I moved in closer to give him a hug and being in his embrace made me never want to let go of him, but I knew I had to. He hesitated releasing me from his grip and met my eyes, searching for something unknown.

"Hey baby! Here's that shot you were looking for!" A short, skinny blonde linked arms with Noah and passed him a shot. I don't like to judge..often..but she looked trashy. But who am I to say that? She's probably still better for him than little broken me. Noah shot me a look, a look that was apologetic and guilty. I got my answer, he didn't want me. He wanted her. He broke eye contact and smiled down at the blonde and took his shot. The blonde gave me a dirty look and redirected Noah to another room.

I can't and certainly don't want to be here anymore. "Hey." Issac found me sitting in the kitchen while everyone else had made their way outside by the fire. I was sipping my wine, hiding. "Hey." I mirrored his greeting, not losing sight of the fire outside. The blonde girl, whose name is Molly, was all over Noah. Lipstick was smeared on his neck by now. "You know she's just a groupie, right?" Issac and I have a similar relationship as Bryan and I do, he's basically my brother. "I'd rather not talk about it." I shook my head and took another sip on my wine. "You two cannot keep doing this to each other, El." He patted me on the back and left me to my thoughts.

I downed the rest of my wine, a terrible idea, and called an uber. "Are you leaving?" Noah's voice broke the silence of the night as I waited outside. "Uh yeah, I'm tired." He nodded as the uber pulled up.

"Hey, Ellie?" He called as I got into the Uber. Before I knew it his hand was resting on my cheek, the other was around the middle of my back, and his lips were on mine, allowing mine to melt into it.

That is until I remembered his girlfriend was waiting for him inside. I pulled away and searched his eyes for some sort of answer, anything. "We can't."

I pulled out phone and started writing since I didn't have my journal with me. I've been writing my feelings more and more, whether they are song lyrics, poems or my own words. I'm just so confused.

Who do you need? Who do you love? When you come undone -Coming Undone Duran, Duran