I WROTE A SONG ABOUT GETTING BETTER

Running In Circles

Noah's POV

The time on my phone showed 3 am. I couldn't sleep and tossed and turned all night, trying to not wake Molly up next to me. I have been seeing her for the last month and she is nice but, well, she's not Ellie. I feel guilty and need to just man up and break it off. My phone rang, which surprised me and I answered it as fast as I could to not wake her up, briefly reading Ellie's caller ID, with the same goofy picture of her I've had for years.

"Ellie? Are you okay?" I whispered. "Noah, it's Katrina. I've never seen Ellie like this, she's having some sort of mental breakdown and nightmare, she asked for you." I ran my free hand through my hair and looked over at a peacefully sleeping Molly, conflicted. "Look, Noah. If you just tell me no, I get it. No offense but I know you have that trashy girl I heard about next to you. Ellie really needs you. If you can't, we'll make do."

I wasn't really sure how to respond to Katrina's plea. "Her name is Molly and she's not trashy." I retorted. She huffed on the other side of the line. "If she's not Elizabeth, she's trash, Noah. Can you be here or not?"

I sighed and squeezed my eyes shut tight trying to make a decision. It wasn't a hard one to make, I just felt bad. "I'll be there in 20." She hung up without another word. I gently removed my blanket and sheets and made my way to my closet to throw on a t shirt, sweatpants and a sweatshirts. August nights got chilly.

I made my way over there as quickly as I could and just as I was about to knock on the door, Katrina whipped it open and basically pulled me inside. "Upstairs to the right." She pointed up the stairs and I thanked her.

I could hear soft crying as I reached the top of the stairs. I gently knocked and pushed her door open. She was curled in a ball under her anxiety blanket in the bed. "Ellie?" I asked calmly.

Ellie's POV

I woke up at approximately 2 am in a panic from a nightmare. I have them from time to time, but they haven't been this bad in a while. Last time I had one this bad I was with Noah, and that is all my brain, and possibly my heart, wants right now.

"Ellie?" I heard a soft, familiar voice, but was so consumed in my attack, I could barely make out that it was Noah. I felt the other side of the bed dip down and I was being moved into his embrace. He knew to hug me tight and wait until my body starts to relax. Noah started to sing Running In Circles softly.

The only way out of this hell is through
So run and keep running fast
'Cause if you slow down, it'll ruin you
So keep running and never look back
You're not alone
You may be just like me without a home
Lost and looking for something, but not alone

His voice is like a lullaby as he sings and rubs my back. I finally felt okay enough to lift my head and meet his gaze. Katrina must have called him over, but why would he leave his girlfriend in the middle of the night for me?

"Why are you here?" I asked, desperately wanting to know. He flashed his beautiful smile and wiped away my tears that stained my cheeks with his thumb. "You needed me, Ellie." I looked away shyly. "But you don't need me." I mumbled, but he definitely heard.

"El.." He started to protest, but I cut him off. "Why did you kiss me?" I asked. "Why were you having nightmares?" He ignored my question.

"Just..bad thoughts tonight." I mumbled. "Elizabeth, you are so loved-" I cut him off once again. "I don't feel loved. I've pushed everyone away because of what happens in my mind. Who could love a fucking walking disaster like me?" I felt low. I know I have some people in my life but I can't help to think I'm constantly a burden.

"I could, and I do." He whispered and I met his gaze once again. "Noah-" It was his turn to cut me off. "Ellie, listen to me. I've made mistakes and Molly..she isn't good for me. Of course I've gone the wrong way around this but, god Ellie, you're the light of my life, you always have been. No one can compete. I'll come clean Molly in the morning, just..please let me back in."

I must have stared at him like a deer in headlights for a moment or two because his voice snapped me back to reality. His eyes were soft and comforting. "Noah, you should go back home." I felt guilty for disrupting his night.

He chuckled and rested his head on mine. "You don't get it do you, I am home."