I WROTE A SONG ABOUT GETTING BETTER

Said & Done

2018

"You look great, Ellie!" My best friend Katrina squeaked. It's a Saturday night in L.A. and we are going out. I wore a black laced tank top with black leather shorts, accessorized by black tights and black vans. I'm aware at how basic I am, and I don't care.

I let Katrina curl my hair and I did a simple makeup look consisting of lashes, eyeliner, a dark red lipstick and some concealer. I wanted to get out and let loose.

Shortly after I flew home abruptly, I moved out of my brother's house and skipped across the country to Los Angeles against Bryan's wishes. I had lost my mind at that point. My depression and anxiety took a huge toll and I didn't speak to anyone for the longest time, including my brother. Turns out, Los Angeles was a shitty place to run away to because little did I know that not only did I move out here, so did Bad Omens four months later. Noah had no idea though, he still doesn't know I live here, unless Bryan told him.

I met Katrina shortly after I moved here, and picked up a job at a local bar, Fink's, exactly where we are going tonight. I love working there. The vibes, the people, the live music - it's all amazing. I run into some bigger named bands sometimes but I have never ran into anyone I know. Kat and I have a plan if that happens while working together.

"Bitch let's go! It's already 8pm!" Katrina squeaked once again, grabbing my wrist and hurling me out the door. "You mean my bed time." I groaned and rolled my eyes.

I'm extremely vigilant on our way down the street to the entrance of the bar from our Uber. Thanks to my increasing paranoia and growing bartender skills, I am always on the look out. What am I looking for? Danger, always danger. My mind never lets me rest. Sometimes I swear I see Noah but it turns out to be a random person.

Katrina has no idea what I am so paranoid about all of the time. She knows nothing of my past life. Nothing about Knocked Loose, Bad Omens, Noah, or my childhood depression. I know, I'm a shitty best friend.

We made our way into the bar and danced the night away. I feel comfortable at the bar I work at knowing it's easier to keep an eye out for roofies, and I completely trust the bartenders.

Bad Omens is on tour so I let my guard down a little bit knowing that I won't run into Noah. "Jake!" I yelled at my fellow bartender who just clocked out for the night. It's now 10pm and after a few shots and drinks, I am feeling good enough to start drinking some water. Jake is cute, and we always flirt back and forth at work. He's 6'1", a little muscular with brown hair, tattoos, and brown eyes.

"Ladies." Jake greeted us and we met each other with eye contact. We started dancing, which turned into a little bit of grinding. "Another drink El, Kat?" He asked us when the song was over. "Yes!" Katrina shouted and I just mouthed water.

Kat turned to me as soon as Jake was out of ear shot. "Girl, you've GOT to fuck him." I shushed her so fast and blushed. "Jake is hot, and he looks like that cutie of a lead singer from Bad Omens! Just more muscular. Shit what's his name?!" She scrunched her face in deep thought.

"Noah Sebastian?" An all too familiar voice yelled above the music towards us.