I Will Hold Your Hand Gently

Chapter 32: A Sigh Of Disappointment

Busy running around getting ready for the Royal Ball, I had no idea that Zwei was planning to hire someone as my guard. There was much that needed to be done so I didn't pay attention to my surroundings. From time to time, Viola would drop in and remind me to eat my meal, but as soon as she left, I focused on completing the piling-up documents. It was naive of me to think that finishing a week's worth of paperwork would give Zwei and me some kind of break.

Zwei had his secretary Oliver to help him take care of any kind of military expense or external affair of the estate, whereas I took care of the internal affairs. However, with the planning with the Royal Ball, I had to set aside the request and overview of the bills sent by the various vessels of the Sigma Land. I wish I had a secretary like Zwei to help out, but I know I won't get one since everyone is still, well, wary of me. 

Pushing that idea to the side, I decided to only pay attention to important documents, and the planning of the Royal Ball. It'll take at least almost a month for the clothing to arrive. Most of the carriage crafters were already behind their quota due to the Royal Ball, so I couldn't put my order in. I was lucky enough to be able to order accessories that were deemed appropriate attire to wear to the Royal Ball.

I had a hunch that Zwei might not know how to dance, and I was also unfamiliar with the dance style of this era, so I wanted to hire both a dance teacher and an etiquette instructor. I knew how to curtsy and a few basic things, but that was about it. I managed to avoid dancing at Count Vergrumble's party by taking advantage of the situation, but I knew I wouldn't be able to do the same at the Royal Ball. Even if Zwei isn't interested in dancing with me, I need to learn for the sake of preserving the Sigma House's reputation. Unfortunately, I couldn't find a single person willing to take on either of these roles.

No one was willing to come to Sigma Estate to teach. The nobles remained wary of Zwei and preferred to see him grovel and beg for their assistance rather than offer any help themselves. Additionally, the Sigma land and its people were viewed as brutish. Given Zwei's past as an assassin, many assumed everyone here was the same. While it's true that more than half of the staff are former assassins, which might justify some fear, the nobles' fear or disdain for Sigma was largely because Zwei was aware of their dark secrets and misdeeds.

The way those people treat Zwei angers me, but there is nothing I can do. I had no power. Struggling to find a teacher to teach both or one of the subjects was much harder than hiring a craftsman. With a sigh, I decided to take a break since I was getting nowhere with all of these rejected proposals in my hand. I pour myself my own cup of tea and sip in the warm liquid. As my mind wandered for a break, a ruckus outside of the large balcony window caught my attention.

I glanced out to the window and saw Jerold ordering a group of men. I couldn't hear what was going on. I place the tea cup down and head toward the balcony window. The wind outside gave out a gentle touch against my skin as I could feel the warmth from the sun. I pull my bangs to the side behind my ears and look down at the gathered group of men.

I didn't realize how close my office was to the training ground until now. I watch as someone suddenly raises their hand. Jerold and that person exchanged words as the person was guided away by another guard. Just as the person was about to turn around, A knock at the door made me jolt up in shock. Viola announced herself and asked for permission to enter. I permitted her to enter. Viola entered with a tray of refreshments.

"Oh, were you in the middle of a break?" Viola asked when she saw me at the balcony window, "My apologies."

She set the tray of refreshments on the coffee table located in the center of the room. I sat down on the couch beside the coffee table with a small nod. The refreshments Viola brought were fresh-cut strawberries, Danish cookies, and cute-looking jello sweets. I reached out to grab a Danish cookie and took a bit. The buttery salty and sweet flavor mashed together as it touched my tongue. The texture was crispy on the outside and soft on the inside.

"Delicious," I said with a smile.

Once all of this is over, I should visit Lucia. It's only been a few weeks, but I haven't seen her since I returned. No one said a word after I returned, so I thought no one would care, but the surveillance around me has been unusually tight. I had a feeling that if I tried to leave again without informing anyone, the consequences might not be pleasant.

"Is something bothering you?" Viola asked suddenly with concern.

I realized I had been staring at her for too long. I offered a small smile and shook my head.

"I was just thinking about visiting the town before attending the Royal Ball," I replied.

Viola blinked at me as she said, "I don't think that will be possible, Madam."

"Why's that?" This time it was me blinking at her.

"His grace has forbidden you from leaving the estate without a personal guard or a knight assigned to you."

That was a strange answer. There wasn't a single staff member here who would work for and under me. Viola was only doing her portion as the head maid and nothing more. Other than that, the other staff members also did their bare minimum; greeting me, cleaning the room, cleaning my clothes, preparing food, prepping the bath, and not gossiping in front of me.

"Is there a need to suddenly assign a guard to me?" I said, and as soon as the words left my mouth, I understood the situation.

The recruits, the heightened surveillance, and Viola's intense gaze were more alert than usual because I had left without notifying anyone. Who knows what kind of information I might have leaked to the Spheral House when I left?

I felt a slight pang in my chest. I looked at Viola with an understanding expression. 

"I see..."

"Madam..." Viola seemed to grasp my realization.

I shook my head and raised my hand to stop her from saying anything further. Understanding the situation and dealing with my rising emotions were two separate challenges. The only common factor was that there was nothing I could do about it. I leaned against the balcony wall and sighed softly, trying to shift the focus. 

"Did I receive any more letters today?"

Viola seemed to remember something and nodded, pulling out an envelope. She handed it to me. I took it, opened it, and was expecting another rejection of my request for a teacher. To my surprise, the letter was an acceptance from someone willing to be my etiquette teacher.

"Madam?"

"...Viola, do you know anyone by the name of Alison StoneWell?" I asked.

"StoneWell...?" Viola ponders for a bit before she replies, "It's my first time hearing that name."

"...Is it a noble from the countryside?" I mutter under my breath.

I don't recall seeing any nobles with this name when I was studying the names of all the nobles attending the Royal Ball. Either this name doesn't exist, or it was someone sent by the Spheral House to check up on me. But why would they check up on me when they wanted to find me dead on Zwei's estate?

Is it an assassination attempt on my life?

I shook my head. That seemed too far-fetched. I was pretty sure the Spheral House had already planted a spy within the Sigma House, so sending in more would only risk blowing their cover. So, was this a noble interest in becoming my etiquette teacher?

The only way to find out was to accept the letter and arrange a time and date for their arrival. I walked back to my desk, filled out a response, and placed it inside the envelope. I handed it to Viola. 

"Send this reply as soon as possible."

Viola took the letter with a nod, bowed, and then excused herself. Once she closed the door behind her, I slumped back into my chair with a heavy sigh.

"...Lucia's going to be so mad at me," I muttered, covering my eyes with my arm, "So, I'm getting a guard... A knight? Someone to keep an eye on me around the clock..."

I thought I understood that Zwei wouldn't trust me easily, despite what I'd said to him in the carriage, but it still hurt to realize just how much he distrusted me. I let out a shuddering sigh, lifted my arm, and picked up the quill. 

"Well, no use in sulking. I might as well make the best of this and finish all this paperwork."

To Be Continued