I Will Hold Your Hand Gently

Chapter 18: The Belladonna

"Move it!" the gruff man barked, shoving me into the jail cell.

Behind me, a small child struggled on the uneven brick floor. The man roughly grabbed the child's arm and thrust it into me, sending us both crashing against the wall. As I landed on the cold ground, the man locked up and left us alone in the cold cell. I tried to help the child get up from the cold floor, but they recoiled from my touch, their eyes wide with fear.

"Are you hurt?" I asked softly, trying not to frighten them.

The child remained silent, casting a wary glance before retreating to the far corner like a stray cat. As moments slipped by, fatigue overcame the child, and they drifted into slumber. Gently rising, I removed my coat and draped it over the child. I headed back to my corner as quietly as possible without waking up the child. With a sigh, I recall on how a person of my stature, the Duchess of Sigma, had found herself confined in this desolated cell.

***Two Days Ago***

"I'm bored..." I grumbled, munching on a biscuit while resting my head on the chilly surface of my work desk.

Viola appeared, setting a refreshing cup of shaved ice beside me. "Why don't you take a break in the garden? Kendrick just finished planting new flowers for the Midspring Festival that will be taking place two days from now."

"New flowers?" I perked up.

Viola nodded. "Would you like to see them?"

Excitement surged through me like a child on Christmas morning. I jumped up from the desk and made my way to the garden. It took me twenty minutes to travel through the estate and reach the garden tucked behind the mansion. Kendrick was busy trimming nearby bushes. He tried to greet me, but I didn't want to interrupt him, so I gestured for him to continue, receiving a grateful smile in return. Strolling along the marble path I'd recently installed, I marveled at how it complemented the intricate maze-like garden. Upon reaching the gazebo, I notice the freshly planted flowers.

My finger traced the delicate petals of the newly planted flowers—marigolds, sea peas, baby's breath, and the belladonna lily. Yet, as my hand hovered over the belladonna, an inexplicable unease settled in my stomach, as if it held some dark allure, threatening to engulf me.

Strangely, laughter seemed to echo in my mind, taunting me about the flower. Unconsciously, my hand moved toward it, an urge to crush it rising within me. I felt that destroying the flower would silence the mocking voice tormenting me. Just as my fingers were about to make contact, Kendrick's voice broke through the haze.

"My lady!" he exclaimed, moving swiftly between me and the flower. "This is a poisonous plant! If you intend to touch it, please wear gloves!"

I blinked a couple of times before I came to my senses. I glanced to the side and saw a sign Kendrick had put up, warning how the Belladonna lily was poisonous and could only be touched safely by wearing gloves.

"...If these are poisonous, then why were they planted, Kendrick?"

Kendrick responded cautiously, his tone betraying a hint of fear as if expecting a punishment for planting a poisonous flower. "...Belladonna is one of the key ingredients in crafting my lord's medication, my lady."

As Kendrick mentioned the medication, I couldn't help but think of the pills Esper takes to manage symptoms when lacking a Guide. Though it was never explicitly stated in the novel, belladonna seems to be one of the components. Despite being married to Zwei as his Guide, I'm not officially recognized by him as his Guide. No matter how hard I try to prove my worth, if he doesn't accept me, he'll continue relying on those pills.

"I understand," I replied quietly.

Kendrick's expression turned to one of horror as he realized his slip-up. He dropped to one knee, pleading, "Forgive me, my lady...! I didn't mean to imply you couldn't heal my lord...! Planting belladonna has simply become a habit..."