Eleven. | Still Healing.

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He was seated in a cushioned light green armchair with his eyes shifted to the clock ticking in the right corner of the spacious room, the sound of a pen scribbling on paper hung in the air. His hands clasped together like a prayer, exhaling breaths through his nose and tapping his shoe against the carpet flooring. Printed degrees and documents rested on both sides of the wall, The serene silence engulfed the ambiance.

"Are you okay Taurus?" The therapist asked gently, lifting her head from her clipboard.

He nodded in response and gave her small smile, for the first time in a long time. He was okay, mentally and physically.

Taurus, who was in therapy at the moment, was having a conversation with his therapist, Helena, and the progress he was making overtook his initial expectations. Discovering his triggers, practicing breathing techniques to manage his anger problems, and being held accountable were all crucial steps in his journey, and he truly appreciated the progress he had made.

"I'm good, I'm still paying you by the hour.." Taurus joked with a smile, his balled-up fist resting against his cheek.

They shared a light chuckle, the woman with her brown skin dressed in a gray suit, matching rounded-toe heels adorned on her feet. Her brown eyes sparkled with reassurance and determination, and her hazel-brown pixie haircut styled in curls.

"Yes, you are but have you been making the progress you wanted to see in your life?" She asked with a warm tone, skillfully twirling her pen between her fingers.

The dark-skinned tatted male has gotten a job at a local community center, something he had always been passionate about.

After months of trying to find the right therapist, he was content with this one. It was mentally and physically exhausting for the young male.

The process was getting annoying to him and his mom after he was called unstable, and antisocial by one therapist who tried to send him to a psych ward after a single session.

Taurus and his mom quickly said no to the therapist, his mom made sure to protect her son.

But when he met Helena, something clicked. She understood him. She saw beyond his troubled past and saw the potential for growth within him.

They shared similar struggles in their past as well.

"Yes, I've gotten a job at a community center and I like it there, helping at-risk youth, my coworker and I became friends last week too," Taurus replied with a nod, his tone had a sense of pride.

"That's good to hear, but I wanted to talk to you about the things you did and relationships,"

"Yeah, it's easier to talk about the good things happening in my life instead of my personal fuck ups, sorry.." Taurus apologized, his face softened a bit.

He had to get this out of the way, release the tension from his mind, body and spirit. He couldn't keep this to himself anymore.

She shook her head from side to side, "It's alright, now let's start with your ex Kareem, what's your story?" She asked him, raising her brows.

He nodded, exhaling as if to release the tension from within, his eyes shifted toward her.

"K-Kareem and I started off as friends then it became more than that, I noticed that he liked a certain type of street nigga so I became that version for him, I started to manipulate him, hurt him, and verbally abuse him then Kareem wanted to leave so I would use sex to make him stay, he stayed.." Taurus admitted with a shaky tone, turning and twisting the cube.

Helena nodded and listened intently, scribbling down what was being said to her, "Thank you for sharing that with me, it takes a lot of courage to acknowledge our past."

"But I know now that I was wrong for what I did, I didn't know how to handle my emotions and I lashed out at Kareem, I did whatever to keep him near me because I couldn't be alone with myself.." He went on, his tone still shaky.

"And have you mended your relationship with Kareem? Has he forgiven you and recognized the red flags of it?" She asked again.

There wasn't any longer tension in his chest, he could breathe now. He was getting the help he needed from this.

"Yes and Yes, our relationship is better now, No, Kareem hasn't forgiven me which I understood fully but we decided that we are better apart from each other. I agreed completely, we don't talk anymore," Taurus chimed in, his lips formed into a frown.

"That's good to hear, I'm proud of you, now it's all about progress, not perfection. How about your mental health?"

"It's a lot better now,"

"Good, your relationship with your mother?"

"Much better, we're talking a lot now and she's helped me through this process."

"Good, your relationship with Hayden?"

Taurus's shoe suddenly stopped tapping and counted backward, exhaling again to subdue the anger inside him. "5...4...3...2..1.." he whispered softly.

"Hayden and I have also broken up which is better too, he hasn't talked to me or forgiven me either. I would do the same if I were him," He explained, placing the cube on the desk.

This was the difficult part of the session, admitting his mistakes, he didn't blame Kareem or Hayden after what happened.

"I kept up that fake version of myself but everyone in the neighborhood saw right through me, after a bad fight with another dude and Hayden saw right through me too. I brought pain and confusion, violence to Hayden, I was bad for him.." Taurus admitted with a shaky tone, his locs swaying in front of his face.

Helena's face softened at the male, feeling a pang of hurt through her. Relating to his experience.

"You don't always need forgiveness to move forward, you'll usually have to do that alone.

"Thank you.."

As the clock struck the time to end their session, the tension lessened in the air. They shook hands and Taurus stood up from the armchair.

Taurus shook her hand and smiled at her, "Thank you, Helena for this, I'll see you next week." He replied softly.

"You're welcome Taurus and I'll see you next week." She chimed in with a warm tone, shaking his hand.

After experiencing mental clarity, he returned home and relaxed on his bed after a shower. Taurus felt elated about this session. His progress had been made, The weight lifted off of his shoulders.

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