Saudade

9 (summer 9 years ago)

Cecilia unpacked her cloths and organized them into her closeout. She couldn't wait to see Rui.  They planned to meet at her house.  She got ready, putting on Jean shorts and a t shirt.  When she heard a knock she bolted to the door, opening it to Rui's bright smile. She jumped into his arms.  "I missed you so fucking much." She stated, still hanging on tight to him.  "I think I missed you more." He laughed.

They went for a walk on the beach, filling each other in on everything, school, sports, life, etc. Cecilia told him all the gossip at her school and he did the same for her.  "You got anymore poems for me?" He asked her as they walked side by side down the shore, his hand in the back pocket of her Jean shorts.  "I'm working on one right now, it's not ready yet."  She smiled and the thought of it. "What's it called?" He asked.  "It's a secret!"

"That's what it's called?" Rui said sarcastically. "No dumb dumb, I'm not telling you yet." She laughed elbowing him.  "Ok, but I better see it by the end of this summer. I will be mad." He joked making her laugh.

"Rui." She said seriously. He looked at her. "Yeah."

"I have something to tell you.." she said, he nodded his head with a concerned look.  "I applied to the university of Coimbra, and I got in." She said smiling. He stopped walk and stepped back. "Wait so, you'll be here. Like this year. The university here?" He asked in shock.  She smiled and nodded. "Oh my god, I'm so happy!" He said lifting her up and spinning her around. She laughed, it was like a weight had been lifted off her back, she was happy and excited to start her life here. "I don't this I've ever been more happy." He smiled.

"I was scrolling on Facebook and I saw that Maria and Nelson are still together."  Cecilia said to Rui as they walked back to her house.  "Oh yeah, I think there anniversary is coming up.  He left to go visit her a couple days ago, he was at my house before he left." Rui told her.  Cecilia nodded.

"I'm going to start making a plan, for our schedules so we can visit each other every weekend." Rui said excitedly.  Cecilia laughed.  "I'm not joking." Rui smiled.  They kissed each other goodbye and Cecilia went to have dinner with her parents and grandparents.

Cecilia would be leaving at the beginning of august to go back to Toronto to pack for university. The next few weeks for Rui and Cecilia were spent at the beach, each other's houses and Tony's cafe.  Cecilia would go help Rui work at the cafe so he could close up sooner and spend time with her.  Tio Tony didn't love it but Cecilia convinced him to shorten Rui's hours.  One thing Tony did not tolerate was Rui and Cecilia kissing.  "Rui, stop kissing my niece." He would yell across the room when they would close up.  Tony was Cecilia's Mom's cousin, He was Tia Jennies brother, but since they were all so close Cecilia called them Tio and Tia.

It was late when Cecilia packed to head back to Toronto for two weeks, she was leaving tomorrow. Cecilia was taking a break from packing, lying in bed looking on Facebook when she came across one of Maria's posts.  The the caption read, "happy anniversary to my amazing boyfriend thank you for this beautiful poem." The picture was of one of Cecilia's poems and at the bottom in said from Nelson. She sat up in shock.  "What the fuck!" She yelled.  "Language!" She heard from her mother in the other room.

"Oh my god?" She whispered to herself.  She felt tears welling up in her eyes. Rui gave my poem to Nelson to give to Maria for Nelson and Maria's anniversary, she thought to herself.  She couldn't believe it, Rui had promised not to ever show anyone her poems.  She stood up and put on her hoodie ran to the door and put on her shoes.  "I'll be back in a bit mom."  She said and ran out the door before she got a reply.

The air was thick and warm but there was a light breeze. The moon lit up the shore. The sky was black. She sat on her front steps and texted Rui telling him to meet her at the beach. He texted back right away, agreeing to meet her. She ran down the board walk trying not to cry  and when she got to the sand she sat down and waited.  What was 10 minutes felt like an hour, and when he got there her heart dropped. She stood up quickly  "What's up" he smiled kissing her cheek.  She pushed him away.  "Don't kiss me, you liar." She frowned.  "What?" He asked confused.

"Don't what me, you know what. You promised. I trusted you." She started to cry.  " Cecilia, calm down. I swear I have no idea what your talking about." He shook his head stepping closer to her.  "Rui I can't even look at you right now." She said tears streaming down her face.  "I don't know what's going on." He said his voice rasp. He grabbed her hands. 

"I trusted you with my poems, and not only did you show them to someone but you gave them to someone else to give to their girlfriend."  Cecilia stated sternly.  "Cecilia, I have no clue what you're talking about." Rui said, his voice hoarse.  "Rui, I can't do this anymore. I can't trust you." Cecilia cried harder now.  "No, no Cecilia. We can work this out, you aren't explaining. I love you." His eyes started to form tears. "I love you too, but I can't trust you." She wiped her tears, she never told Rui she loved him before. She never thought she would tell him that while they were breaking up.

"I have to go Rui." She cried.  "No, please Cecilia." He begged, tears streaming down his face.  Cecilia ran home crying.

She picked up the poem she was going to give it him and put it in her bedside table.

She tried to hide her tears but when she flew out the next morning she broke down in tears on the plane, she ended up telling her mom everything.

When she got back to Toronto she decided she didn't want to go to school in Portugal anymore. She ended up going to McMaster university.  She had gotten texts and calls from Rui almost everyday, but she tried to ignore them. Eventually he stopped.  Cecilia went on with life.