Saudade

11(Summer 6 years ago)

The streets of east end Toronto were bustling. It was late July and the summer heat was sticky, the sun was starting to set.

Cecilia was in Toronto for the summer and was working a part time job at Jimmy's coffee house. She was staying at her parents house while they were in Portugal, at their new apartment.

She hadn't thought about Rui in a while. She tried her best to forget about him. He was a stupid teenage boy who she had a casual relationship with, she would tell herself. Although he wasn't a teenage boy anymore, he was 21. Cecilia tried not to think about it, she still did. She tried to picture what he was like, had he changed in the past 3 years. Her mom would try to update her on things going on in Apulia, including Rui. Cecilia had asked her to stop though. She didn't like thinking about him.

She was closing up the cafe and wiping down counter tops. "Go home Cecilia, it's Friday. The place is clean enough." Her manager Lucas told her. "Are you sure?" Cecilia asked. Lucas rolled his eyes and leaned against one of the tables. Cecilia loved Lucas, he was literally her best friend even though he was her boss. Lucas would invite Cecilia over to him and his boyfriends place for wine and a movie on Saturday nights.

"Yes Cecilia, it's almost eight. Go home and give yourself a facial, you deserve it after this weeks hours." He crossed his arms. "Ok!" Cecilia laughed. She grabbed her things and left waving bye to Lucas. She walked down the streets, with her headphones in, playing Amy winehouse.

She unlocked the door to her parents house and stepped in. That's when she heard a ring, an unknown number that underneath said Portugal. Her heart dropped as she answered. She slid off her shoes and put her bag down. "Hello?" A males voice spoke. "Is this Cecilia?" The man question.

"Yes, who is this?" Cecilia replied.

"It's Nelson, I got your number from your mom." He told her. Cecilia started pacing back and forth in her parents kitchen. "Oh, hi Nelson." Cecilia said biting her nails, thoughts were racing through her mind. "There's something, I need to tell you. You can't be mad, and this has to be brief because it's late here. Just please don't be mad." He sounded worried, his voice was hoarse.

Cecilia stayed silent. "Three years ago, I stole something of yours from Rui's bed side table. Gave it to Maria, I think you know what I'm talking about. I wasn't talking to Rui after that for a while cause I knew you two had broken up. But I ran into him the other day and he told me about what happened with you guys. I felt like I owed it to you to tell you." Nelson told her.

Cecilia's heart dropped, she felt like she couldn't breath. She hung up the phone quickly and ran to the washroom. She dropped to her knees and threw up into the toilet.

She couldn't believe Nelson, she couldn't believe herself. How could she have not figured it out. Of course Rui wouldn't have done that. She started crying.

She then got up quickly and ran to her computer, booked the soonest flight to Porto and started packing. She needed to talk to Rui right away.

The flight there felt longer then ever. She was couldn't sleep or focus watching a movie. She just sat there looking out the window, listening to the plane engine.

She had told her parents she was flying in, just for a few days. They told her to come stay in their guest room in their new apartment in Porto.

As soon as she dropped her suit case off at the apartment and made sure she looked presentable, she drove her parents car into Apulia. She was going to go talk to Rui, she couldn't help but feel like she lost three years with him. She drove down the streets of Apulia and stopped in the beach parking lot. She watched the waves crash into the sand for what felt like hours. She saw two figures walking along the shore, a blonde girl with olive skin holding a dark boys hand. That's when Cecilia realized it was Rui. Holding another girls hand, smiling at her. He looked almost the same as that night they fought on the beach.

Cecilia stayed silent, she knew he couldn't see her in the car. A hot tear fell down her face, and before she knew it, there were tears pouring out of her eyes. She pulled out of the parking lot. not knowing what to do, she decided to drive to her great grandmothers old age home.

After a five minute drive, she pulled into the small parking lot of a big white building, with big windows and a beautiful garden. There were big palm trees at the front. She stepped out of her car and walked into the building trying to hide the fact that she was crying.

She walked up to the brunette women sitting at the front desk. "Ola, I'm here to see Emilia boucina." Cecilia smiled. "Ok, she should be in room 9." The lady pointed down the hall.

Cecilia walked as her footsteps echoed, it felt like she was walking in heaven through the white hallway. When she reached door nine she opened the door slowly, to her 87 year old great grandmother sitting on a grey sofa watching tv.

Her face lit up when she saw Cecilia, her memory was quite good. "Amour, you're home!" She had the most beautiful smile on her face. She was glowing in the sunlight. Cecilia nodded and walked over giving her a kiss on the cheek and a tight hug. "Sit, my love." She ordered Cecilia, patting the sofa.

"How have you been?" She said tucking a hair behind Cecilia's ear. "Good!" Cecilia laughed trying to hold back tears. "I know when you lie, amour." She shook her head. She always knew when Cecilia would lie. She could read Cecilia like a book. Cecilia started to tear up. "What's wrong, amour?" She always knew when something was wrong. "I messed up." Cecilia cried.

"Oh amour, come here." She said holing her arms out. Cecilia embraced her great grandmother tightly, staying like that for a few seconds. When she pulled away Cecilia lay her head on her great grandmothers shoulder. "Is it that boy your mom was telling me about?" She questioned. "Mhm." Cecilia mumbled.

"Do you love him?" She asked. Of course Cecilia loved him, She loved the way he talked to her, softly. She loved the way he made her feel. She loved the way he tapped his fingers and the way he never raised his voice. She loved how kind he was all the time, how hard he worked and how much he cared about her and his mother. She loved everything about him.

"Yes." Cecilia cried.

"I know you're going to figure it out, you always do. You can do anything you want to, you can accomplish anything. You are the strongest girl ever. You are stronger than you think. Everything is going to be okay. I love you so much Cecilia." She said kissing Cecilia's forehead.

"I love you too, bisavó." Cecilia smiled.