Saudade

14 (Now)

Cecilia checked out of her hotel the next day and brought all her stuff over to Rui's.  She wasn't sure how much longer she was going to stay but Rui said there was no point in her staying at a hotel when she could just stay at his house.  It was comfortable and clean and it was Rui so of course she accepted the offer.  

Rui had to go into work that day so Cecilia stayed home.  She decided to catch up on work, the best part about her job was that she didn't really have to go into the office, she could just work from home.  She called back Ali later in the afternoon.  "Hi, I was so worried about you." Ali answered after one ring.

"I know, I'm so sorry. Things have been so hectic.  Me and Rui slept together so now I'm staying at his place.  My parents haven't been super supportive the passed few days.  I'm just so overwhelmed. Rui also wants me to stay. I don't know what to do."  Cecilia sighed.

"Oh my gosh." Ali gasped.

"You slept together?!"  She yelled.  "I know, I don't know what I'm doing." Cecilia shook her head.  "Cecilia, you need to do what your heart is telling you to do. I know it sounds cliche but what do you want?"

Later that day Cecilia took a walk to the beach. It was a very short walk from Rui's house.  It was sunny and warm, Cecilia wore her black bikini and a dark green baseball cap that said "Fuck off" on the front, she had bought it from a vintage shop in Toronto and was obsessed with it.  She made sure to keep her distance from people so they couldn't read it.  She breathed in the salty air and walked along the shore, dipping her feat in the sea.  

She had to talk to her parents, and she had to figure out if she was going to stay or not.  If she was going to stay it wasn't going to be just because of Rui.  It would also be for her parents and grandparents.  She would have to figure out what to do with her apartment.  She could probably ship her car over, pack up all her clothes, maybe sell her furniture.  She could work remotely.

Just thinking about all the little details stressed her out.  She would have to figure it out eventually, she promised herself.  

Cecilia took off her hat and placed it down it the sand where she could see it and ran into the water, for old times sake.  The water splashed as she stomped down, when the water reached her waist she dunked her head under and swam forward. She laughed to herself as she swam, she could taste the salt in her mouth. A wave of nostalgia hit her, she wanted to sit in this moment forever.  She knew what she wanted to do.

It was late afternoon now, Cecilia showered all the sand off of her and put on her favorite white sundress.  She then washed and hung up her black bathing suit.  Her salty hair dried into beautiful curls.  She decided that she had to go talk to her parents, so she texted them asking them if she could stop in. Of course they said yes.  Rui would be working late so she texted him too, saying that she was stoping in on her parents and that she would meet him at the restaurant  after his shift was done.

She slipped on her Hermes sandals and went out the door to her rental car. She drove down the roads of Apulia and got onto the highway, heading towards Porto.  She drove passed the farms and corn fields, the sky was pink and blue. The sun shimmering on the ocean as it set.  Cecilia belted out 'Casual' by Chapel Roan as she cruised down the highway.

Cecilia took the elevator up to her parents apartment taking deep breaths, reminding herself to stay calm.  When she knocked on the door her mother opened it and greeted her with a hug.  

"Ola, Cici!"  Selena smiled pulling her into the apartment.  "Ola, Mom." Cecilia replied.  Selena lead Cecilia into the living room and they both sat on the couch. "Dad is just finishing up some paper work in  the office, he'll be out soon." Selena told Cecilia.  "Okay."  Cecilia nodded. She mostly needed to talk to her mother, so she thought it would be best to just start the conversation now.

"Mom, I kind of wanted to talk to you."  Cecilia started. "Okay, what is it filha?" Selena looked concerned.

"Well, I wanted to apologize first. For getting mad the other day.  But I just need you to realize why I was upset.  I just feel like I can't really trust you and dad sometimes."  Cecilia began.  She bit her lip, not knowing what her mothers response was going to be.  "Oh Cecilia, You know you can trust us." Selena frown, she looked disappointed.  "Well, sometimes it doesn't feel like it." Cecilia admitted.  Selena had the same disappointed look on her face. She then rolled her eyes. "Cecilia don't be ridiculous."

"Mom, I'm only trying to tell you how I feel. I don't want to argue."

 Selena nodded and bit her lip.  "Okay."  

"Okay?"

"I'm sorry, I hope you can gain your trust for me back."  Selena stated.  Cecilia was shocked that her mother was capable of apologizing. "Thanks for the apology." 

Selena just nodded.  "You look very pretty today, Filha." Selena tucked a strand of Cecilia's hair behind her ear.  "Thank you, mom." Cecilia smiled, still a bit shocked about how chill her mother was being.

"So, I've been staying at Rui's." Cecilia told her mother, Selena raised her eyebrows.  "So you two are?"  Selena asked. Cecilia just nodded with a smile. "Ohhhhh." Selena teased wiggling her eyebrows. Cecilia laughed.

"Mom, I have to tell you something." Cecilia admitted.  Selena had a worried look on her face.  "What is it?"

Cecilia took a breath, She was going to do it.  "Mom, I'm going to move."  

"What, where?"  Selena questioned.

 "Apulia." Cecilia answered.

Selena's face lit up so bright, it looked like she had just gotten the best news of her life. This might be the best news of her life. "Oh my god!"  She yelled.  "What's going on!?" Miguel asked as he entered the room.

"Cecilia's moving to Apulia!" Selena answered standing up from the sofa running to the kitchen, Cecilia stood up too. "We need to celebrate!" Miguel smiled walking over to embrace Cecilia. "I'm getting the champagne." Selena yelled from the kitchen.  "I'm so happy." Miguel stated.

"I love you guys." Cecilia smiled.