TW: Mentions of insecurities/panic attack/abusive relationship
My insecurities had finally gotten the best of me. Failed relationship after failed relationship helped me to see that no matter what I wasn't good enough for anyone. My smile wasn't pretty enough, my boobs weren't big enough but my stomach and thighs were too big.
I did anything I could to hide my body, especially while at work. I was surrounded by women who looked like supermodels, they had perfect smiles and perfect bodies. I wanted so badly to be as beautiful as they were.
As my insecurities grew, I started to isolate myself. I'd stay in my hotel room, only leaving when i'd check out. Even at work I'd find a secluded corner to sit until I needed to do an interview.
"Y/n you're needed for an interview," the production assistant says shaking me from my thoughts.
I grab the microphone and head to the judgement day clubhouse. I walk inside the room and wait for the interview to begin
"Hey y/n" Rhea says as she gently hugs me.
"What no hugs for us?" Finn teases
I gently hug Dom, Finn and Damian. Ever since I had joined the raw roster I had become close with them.
"You good love? You look like something's bothering you," Rhea asks
"I'm fine. I'm just tired, didn't get a lot of sleep last night," I say which wasn't a complete lie.
"Let me guess you were up talking to your boyfriend all night?" She says
I froze and looked at the ground, trying to stop the tears from coming, "I haven't dated anyone in over six months,"
I compose myself long enough to complete the interview, but as soon as it's over, I run away finding a closet where nobody would find me.
"Someone said she went this way," I hear Finn say
I pull my knees to my chest to muffle the sound of my crying and hyperventilating. I refused to let anyone see me like this.
"Do you think she's hiding in one of the offices?" Dom asks
"They're probably all locked, but we can try to open them and see,"
I tried to get up and lock the door, but before I could, the door opens and Damian walks in
"Found her," he yells out
Rhea comes into the room and sits down beside me and Damian pulls me into his lap, tightly hugging me.
"Why did you run off love?" Rhea asks once I had calmed down a little
"I didn't want to be reminded of what he did to me,"
"Do you want to talk about it?"
I shake my head, "he just made me realize how worthless I am,"
"You are not worthless,"
"Then why did he cheat on me, constantly make fun of me and treat me like he did?"
"He's a fucking idiot that's why,"
"What did he say to you?" Damian asks
"He called me ugly every day, made fun of my weight and how my body looked,. He'd tell me how stupid I am, and call me all kinds of other names,"
"You are beautiful," Rhea says
I shake my head. Damian looks into my eyes, "She's right y/n you are so damn beautiful. Everything about you is,"
"You deserve better than that dick anyway. A real man would never put down his girlfriend like that," Rhea says
"I'm never going to find someone like that,"
"You know three of us, Me Finn and Dom. We'll never put you down,"
"All three of you are taken, and even if you weren't, we're just friends,"
"I'm not taken," he says
"What happened to that pretty brunette you were dating?"
"That didn't last long, she wasn't serious about me,"
"She is an idiot,"
"I've had my eye on another girl anyway,"
"Who is she?"
"Well she has the prettiest smile, beautiful green eyes, is absolutely gorgeous and she is also sitting in my lap snuggled into my chest,"
"Wait you like me?"
"Duh, he has for a few months now," Rhea says
"What about our friendship? I don't want to lose you if something happens,"
"You will always have me y/n no matter what," he says
"I like you too Damian, but I'm scared. I didn't want to rush into anything,"
"I completely understand, we can move at your pace,"
"Can we go on a few dates before we make anything official?"
"Of course, whatever you want y/n"
He kisses the top of my head. For the first time in months I felt happy
"Sorry, I shouldn't have done that yet," he says
"I don't mind Damian. If I get uncomfortable I'll tell you,"
"I don't want you to be uncomfortable though,"
"I know, I'm just so used to getting hurt that I may be uncomfortable with some things at first, but it's not because of you,"
"Are you still okay with me holding you?"
I nod, "Your arms have always been my safe place. Ever since the night you calmed me down from a panic attack,"
"He helps me a lot too, he does give the best hugs," Rhea says
"That's why I could stay in his arms forever,"
"You know I wouldn't mind that, but only when your comfortable with it,"
I think about it for a second, "I wouldn't mind falling asleep in your arms tonight,"
"Are you sure?"
I nod, "in your arms I feel safe,"
