LOVE IS PATHETIC

Chapter Thirteen

A month had gone by and still nothing. Maybe he has finally let me go. I accepted or I tried to accept that and move on but I couldn't. With the fan signing next month I couldn't wait to see him again. Did I imagine all these ,did I get ahead of myself? I was confused. I kept on refreshing our chats but still nothing my hi was just there read but still there unanswered.

I focused on the gifts I'd give each member and when I got to Yoongi's gift I just didn't know what to get him. I have never been so confused in my life even my parents' death didn't leave me broken and confused like this.

****
The day was finally here. The fan meeting/signing event. The line was long but not that much I had come later on my friends did come early and they were being serviced. I just couldn't take my eyes off him. His smile looked genuine. Was I the only one still stuck on this? Did he by any chance get a fuck friend he wanted. I couldn't give him what he wanted and he couldn't give me what I wanted either so the only smart thing to do would be to let this crazy thing between us end.

The line kept moving faster than I had anticipated so with a smile on my face I stepped up to RM he was the the first in the long table. "Hello, " he smiled at me and I could notice his dimples but I wasn't any happy than I had anticipated two years I go when I meet them. "Hello, honestly am not that happy like I had anticipated. My heart is quite heavy right now but seeing you guys even from the other end of the screen always made me calm so I thought despite my heavy heart seeing you in person would make me feel lighter at heart." I said not daring to look RM in the face. "Well like I said life is a  soup and I'm a fork." He smiled at me." You'll be fine eventually don't worry what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Be there for yourself. You need yourself more or rather yourself needs you more at the moment." He looked at me and I knew what he said made sense. "Thank you. Now I came with your album and a gift. My gift is a piece of art I know you'd appreciate it more than I ever will. Welcome back RM." After our interaction I moved to Jimin. "You look familiar babygirl. Oh yes you're the beauty I saw in my sleep." I couldn't believe it. "Stop it or I'll tell Regina you're not for keeps." His face was hilarious. "Please don't I'll sign anything." He sure was cheeky. "Well my gift to you is this  book read it please and damn did your album make waves. You even managed to make Eminem's album number two at the billboard. Wow. Congratulations buddy to more success in your career and your love life of course." I  couldn't help but whisper the last part. He let out a laugh and I joined in the laugh as I moved next to V.

We went on and had a great talk with them all until it was time to meet Suga. I felt my stomach tie into knots. Goodness I was nervous. "Hi, would you mind signing my album and some photo cards please?" I asked looking up at him. To say this was awkward was an understatement but he was professional and his body language gave out nothing. His face was neutral and only gave a half smile and our interaction looked like a fan and her idol minus all the enthusiasm." I didn't know what to get you so I knitted a scarf for you. Hope you like it," I said handing him the scarf. "At first I wanted to gift you a kitten but thought better of it." I wanted to ask him how he's been but I knew this was not the place for such a conversation. "Ma'am your time is up please," the staff behind him told me and I just nodded at her looked at Yoongi then took my leave. My heart more heavy than when I came in. I need time out. Maybe I should let it go.