I wasnt always this way, no it just built up with time. Alot of shit happened in my life which lead me to this. Such as abuse, sexual assault, foster care and all. It was all fucked up. And people think I look happy but they don't actually know what's hidden underneath.
I smile everyday to try to hide the fact that I'm not actually okay, because I don't want people worrying about me or questioning anything. But It got harder and harder overtime until I couldn't take it anymore, so I had to do something.
And that's when my self harm began. I wasn't suicidal yet but that's when it begun. If course my parents found out and my dad was really abusive so yeah he beat me which honestly didn't help, because that's why I did it in the first place. And my mom thought I needed help but we left it be until my friend got me the help I needed.
About a week later when I thought everything was good was when it all when to shit. A dcs worker came to the house after school, saying they got a report. Of course my mom wrapped my arms up, but I tried to hide it. But they told them what they was here for, of course it was about me.
Of course all my dad did was bitch, and my sisters thought I was crazy. But my mom never understood why although she wanted to, she didn't know how to help me either although she really wanted too. So the things she did didn't always help either.
So if course the dcs women had to question everybody like an investigation, but of course I lied because I didn't want to be out back in foster care where I was sexually assaulted.
But either way it ended up to me being dragged to the hospital, no matter how bad I didn't wanna go.
I didn't know what they was going to do that first time, and I was fucking scared as fuck. But I couldn't leave because the dcs girl followed us to the hospital and once I was admitted it was to late. I hated that girl because what the actual fuck.
And of course because I cut myself, they sent me off.
