Will You Love Me Then?

Chapter 6 - Summer

Out of habit, I checked my phone when it vibrated on my desk and felt a twinge of disappointment when it was just an app notification and not a text. I guess I shouldn't be expecting a message from him now, it has been four days since I saw him anyway. I sighed and clicked over to my email, to check it one more time before I took my lunch break.

A new email blinked at me, so I opened it to find a message from the department supervisor, requesting an emergency department meeting during our lunch hour which is supposed to start in just a few minutes. Confused, I straightened up my area before tucking my phone into my pocket, grabbing my notebook, and heading to the conference room. I was the first person in the room, so I took a seat in the corner and set my notebook down. I adjusted it until it was perfectly lined up with the cracks in the table.

Bouncing my leg up and down, I waited for everyone else to file into the room. Jenny entered next, her face fallen and quietly, she sat down next to me. She did not greet me, and I knew something was wrong. She always greets me with an exorbitant amount of enthusiasm. The rest of my colleagues filed into the room, some of them confused like me and some of them solemn like Jenny. My supervisor entered last, her normally cheerful eyes dimmed with sadness.

She cleared her throat, "As some of you may know by now, Sadie Grimes, pa..." Her voice grew thick with emotion and she sharply exhaled, took a deep breath and continued, "Sadie Grimes passed away last night. I know many of you were directly involved in her treatment and care, so if you need to speak with someone, the department is happy to provide that support to you.

To those of you who didn't know Sadie, she was a long-time patient of our department. She has battled cancer on and off for years and the most recent surgery was successful. She had been declared cancer free and was set to go home today. But she had a seizure last night and it was too much for her already weakened body. Her mother let me know this morning. This was unexpected so please keep Sadie's family in your thoughts."

She took another deep breath and wiped her hands on her thighs, "That is all. Thank you for your time. Please stay and talk to me if you need some immediate support."

A few people stood up and slowly exited the room. I looked over at Jenny who was barely holding herself together. I gently nudged her arm, and she turned to me, her eyes brimming with unshed tears.

"Oh, Jenny..." I whispered and she blinked, the tears silently escaping her hazel eyes. She hastily brushed them away with the back of her hand and my heart went out to her. This is the hardest part of the job. Our patients die sometimes and there is absolutely nothing we can do to stop it.

"Hey," I said gently, "Go to the bathroom and clean yourself up. Take a moment to grieve and then try to eat your lunch. We still have a full case load for this afternoon and those patients need you too."

"Okay," she weakly replied and stood up, rushing out of the room. I sighed and stood as well; my heart heavy as I made my way back to my desk to grab my lunch. I wasn't Sadie's direct provider but several of my colleagues were, and I consulted with them numerous times as we tried to come up with the best ways to help her cope with her repeated cancer diagnoses.

I sat down at my desk and browsed through my patient files for the afternoon as I ate my lunch. The remaining forty minutes of my lunch passed quicker than I would have preferred. The office was somber and devoid of the upbeat joy we all continuously attempt to display to each other. This job is emotionally grueling sometimes and we need to rely on each other.

As a relatively new graduate, I have only been a part of this team for approximately eight months, but I know without a doubt that these are some of the best people I have ever met. Every single one of us, well maybe not all of us, but most are fully dedicated to our patients.