too fragile for your love (too strong for your heart)

and when i begin to dream of you (fate begins its serenade) pt one

the funny thing about anger is that it leaves something behind, when it fizzles out. one would think that satisfaction would be one of those gifts. however, that's not the case at all, since what it really gives away, is a sense of emptiness, a dearth of emotion, a hollow well that echoes of despair and loneliness, after all the rage and destruction is over.

that is, only when it's made to run its course, and not interrupted mid-way, to be forced down and choked on.

when jake lets his anger take the reins and escape his body in the form of a cluster of howling flames, he doesn't get much time to relinquish control of his faculties to pure, mindless fury, before he's stopped halfway through.

"whoa, calm down, dude!" soo-eun yelps, stepping backwards hastily. "you don't want to do that!"

he uncurls his fingers, making the flames twist and turn around the length of his hand with a certain urgency, as if they're waiting for further orders before letting loose. "give me one good reason why i wouldn't want to do... that."

"uh, for one thing, we aren't here to fight!" tae-sik says, hurriedly, eyeing jake with a terrified look in his eyes. "we wouldn't even be here, if it weren't for our sire! so, just- put the fire away, will you? let's talk, blood brother to blood brother? please?"

ningning slips her hand into his, her skin worryingly cold against his own. "don't listen to them, jake. it's a trap."

"ugh, stay out of this, human!" soo-eun calls, making a face. "jake, come on, this is an enclosed space; you light one of us up, and we'll take down this whole building when we go. do you really think violence is the answer, here?"

"you killed them," jake says, the words escaping with a hiss through his teeth. "you killed all of them, and you don't even regret it. one of them was a baby, you heartless bastards!" at the last word, his voice rises with finality, in a bone-rending yell. the fire burns brighter, and higher, reaching up to the water-stained ceiling, as it's affected by his fluctuating emotions.

"and, what about that convenience store guy you killed?" woon-seok speaks up, with raised eyebrows. "he ended up in ashes, jake. ashes. forty-three years of his life, gone. just like that. so, think about it, jake. we aren't really that different from each other, you and me."

that was self-defense, he wants to say. i didn't want it, i didn't-

"and, that heeseung guy you think's so great? he isn't exactly innocent, either. anyone who believes otherwise hasn't been talking to the right people."

jake bites down on his tongue, and asks, "how do you know about the convenience store cashier?"

woon-seok smiles, as if to say, see? now, we're finally getting somewhere. "our dear lady told us about that. she's been watching you, jake. she wants to offer you a deal."

"well, i don't want it. i have nothing to do with any of you. i don't even know who your dear lady is."

"don't you?" woon-seok says, his smile widening until his fangs are on full display. jake feels ningning shudder, but he's too far gone in his mind to question her easy acceptance of the situation she's in. "are you telling me that you never hear her voice when you're awake? that you never feel her presence when you're alone? that you never had her sink her teeth into your veins so that you could become something more than the pitiful human you once were?"

his fire sputters a little, as he struggles to comprehend what woon-seok's talking about.

"you- you were sent by her?" he chokes out.