When (he)arts Prevail

19

When Kaylee got home that evening, tired to the bones, she decided to upload the photos taken that morning into her laptop. She knew they were trash, yet it couldn't hurt having a look. At least to confirm she did suck.

After changing into her pajamas and settling comfortably on the couch with her laptop, Kaylee inserted the memory card and waited for it to load. A few seconds later, as she scrolled through the uploaded photos, she realized there were more data there than she expected.

Nervousness swept in, her stomach sinking. She should have known. It had been five years, but photographs didn't just wipe themselves off.

Hesitantly, Kaylee clicked on one of the older shots. A picture of her parents' backyard, with Kaylee's friends smiling and eating, still completely unaware of how that night would end. She progressed to the next photo, one of Brian, and the next of her mother and Alyssa, and a few more, all reflecting happiness and celebration, as it was supposed to be that day.

Kaylee's heart was tight but she went back to the list and scrolled even further up, to even older photographs, until she could see Nate in the thumbnails and she clicked one open.

The breath went out of her at a photo of her and her brother at the beach, tan skins, surf suits halfway down, Nate's arm loosely around Kaylee. She was smiling so hard. She was so happy then.

Kaylee's eyes stung and she snapped her laptop shut, shuddering out a breath.

Her phone started buzzing in that moment. Her eyes dropped to the screen and Brian's name and photo lit up. Kaylee considered for a moment whether she wanted to talk to him or not. Yet, with her heart still racing, she decided to pick up the call, hoping her voice wouldn't betray her. 

"Hey, what's up?"

"Just got home. I saw your message this morning, but we were loaded today. I couldn't reply properly. How did it go?"

Kaylee didn't need to ask what he meant. She sighed as she leaned back on the couch. Seeing those old pictures had drained the last of her energy and Kaylee didn't feel as positive as before. "I don't know, Brian..." she said, "I don't think I can do this."

"What happened? What about it's a start?"

"It was."

"So?"

"I don't know..."

"Kaylee..."

Kaylee let out another long sigh. "What's the point of it? I can't go back. I can't go to New York."

Brian's voice remained calm. "Why not?"

"They won't accept me."

"I'm sure there's plenty of other options," he reasoned.

"What?" she countered, "am I supposed to drop everything for a foolish dream?"

"It was never a foolish dream. Why are you saying that now?"

"I was a kid, Brian," Kaylee said strictly. "I didn't know anything about life."

"Well, no one is telling you to give up on anything for it." Brian's voice lost all the softness and he was chastising her now. "But you used to love it. You were passionate about it and really good at it, too. I know it's hard, right now. And it sucks. I've been there. Just don't give up."

Kaylee felt the burn behind her eyes again and that angered her. She didn't cry. She wasn't a crier. Why was she feeling so emotional?

Kaylee stifled a groan and rubbed a hand down her face. Memories of her brother and thinking about the life she was supposed to be living have always got to her.

"I don't wanna talk about it, tonight. I'm tired."

She heard Brian sigh on the other end of the phone. He hated when she evaded. But right now she didn't care. She didn't want to feel this way.

"Goodnight, Brian—"

"Wait," he said abruptly. "Don't hung up. Not like this."

Kaylee let out another shaky sigh, fighting back those stubborn tears.

"Why don't we do it together?" Brian proposed.

"What? Are you gonna pose for photos?"

"My mom always told me I was very handsome."

That cracked a small smile out of Kaylee, mixed with a snort.

"Let's just hold each other accountable," he went on. "You help me, I help you."

Kaylee considered for a moment in silence.

"Come on," he prodded. "I don't want you giving up. You're not a quitter, Kaylee Anderson Brooks."

She conceded. "Fine."

"Good. I'll let you rest now. Is everything else okay?"

"Yeah. What about you? Is this new band you're working with any good?"

"They're alright. They're not the next Metallica, but..."

Kaylee chuckled.

"In case you don't know, Metalli—"

"I know Metallica, jackass. I might not listen to that particular genre of music, but God knows I might just know all the lyrics by heart for the amount of times I listened to their songs because of Nate. He would blast Metallica in his speakers for hours. Ugh. I think sometimes he did it just to annoy me."

Brian was laughing at that. "He would totally do that."

"I don't know how he managed to become such a decent person in the end," Kaylee joked.

"He had his punk years."

"Punkish," she corrected.

Brian chuckled lightly before saying, "Yeah, you're right, he was too good for it."

Kaylee was smiling and she realized she felt much lighter. Still drained but her mind was clearer. "Thank you," she said, after a moment.

"You're welcome. You know I'm always ready to cheer you up."

"We'll talk tomorrow?"

"Sure."

"Goodnight, Bri."

"'Night, Kayls."