When (he)arts Prevail

18

Who would've thought that something that came so naturally to Kaylee before, was now such a struggle.

The day had barely started but there was always someone out there in the water as soon as the sun peeked out, and Kaylee decided to shoot for those. She sat at the beach, on a towel to avoid getting sand everywhere in her pants, camera in hand, but she missed all the shots.

The surfers she was photographing would either have bailed the wave when she would click, or be hidden behind the foam of one. Kaylee knew she was hesitating and that was ruining the pictures.

Her stomach began to hurt and she started feeling sick. Maybe having a decent breakfast had been a bad idea.

Ever since the conversation with Brian about her art, or the lack of it in recent years, Kaylee had not been able to think about anything else. Yet, whenever she told herself she would go out with her camera and just snap photos, however they resulted, just like Brian did with the guitar, there was always some excuse she made up and the plan would go downhill.

Tomorrow, I will go, she always thought to herself. Until the next day she wouldn't. And the next day, and the next day, and the next day.

Today, Kaylee had been lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep, although the clock hadn't even hit 6 AM. She had felt restless.

Maybe this morning, the thought had wandered. She could arrive a bit later at work, blaming a fake headache she had needed to sleep off. The sunrise would be a nice start, just to get her going. Kaylee always loved sunrises and sunsets; they gave her a sense of peace with the world, which was exactly what she needed now.

She had thrown the covers away in a rush and jumped out of bed. It was too early but she needed to move. Getting things ready for work, a shower, a proper breakfast — yes, she could do it.

Kaylee had moved around in her apartment, gathering her bag and checking if everything she needed for today was in there. She had dropped the bag at the entrance and squatted down next to the cabinet. She had retrieved her camera, the battery dead, and put it on the charger. The long shower she took after getting things ready felt genuinely good and Kaylee felt the fuzzy feeling of excitement in her belly. She was really doing it.

Kaylee usually didn't spare much time preparing breakfast, but today, since she had all the time in the world, she felt inspired and made herself a nice tray with egg toast, fruit and her version of a latte.

But now the said latte was tumbling in her belly.

She dropped the camera next to her with a sigh and lifted the phone. 7:52 AM.

Shit.

Kaylee had stretched the time to the limit. It was time to go to work and hope her father and her managers bought the lie she wasn't feeling terrific this morning.

After rising from the sand and shaking off the grains from the towel, Kaylee made her way back to her car. She hid the camera underneath the passenger seat and took off toward the center of Los Angeles.

About one hour later, Kaylee arrived at work a bit frazzled. She had barely gotten her laptop out of the bag when her father appeared next to her, a concerned look on his face.

"What happened? Are you feeling okay?"

Kaylee gave a fake small cough, turning to him, and hoped to make her voice sound a little hoarse. "Yeah, I just had a sore throat this morning and a terrible headache. I couldn't get up."

"Maybe you should have stayed in."

"Nah, you know I can't. Besides, I took some pills and I'm feeling better. I promise," she added when her father gave her a stern look.

He eventually nodded, not too convinced, just before his forehead creased, and he leaned down a bit, staring at Kaylee's shoulder. He wiped the fabric in a swift movement. "Why do you have sand on you?"

Oh crap.

Kaylee peeked at her shoulder and the rest of her clothes in search of more sand and shook off more possible crime evidence. "I probably used this shirt when I went to the beach the other day," she said quickly.

"You should've picked something clean, don't you think?" Her father muttered in a low voice, so none of their coworkers would listen in.

Kaylee snorted, frowning. "You sound like Mom."

That brought a hint of a smile to the corner of her father's lips.

"Well, I'm glad you're better."

"Yup."

Kaylee's father leaned in a bit. "I've heard some really nice comments about your work on that last project."

"Oh."

Kaylee didn't know what to say to that, yet the look on her face made her father chuckle. He probably thought she was flabbergasted to say anything and took it as a good sign. If Kaylee was honest, she didn't really know how that made her feel.

Kaylee's father put a hand on her shoulder, a proud smile still on this face. "I'll see you later?"

"Sure, just tell me when you're leaving. I'll probably leave a bit late today."

"Maybe you could come have dinner with us," her father tried. "Your mother's been asking."

"Today's not good."

Her father's mouth pressed in a line. "Tomorrow, the next day. I don't know."

"I'll try," Kaylee said.

He sighed, walking away. He knew there was no point insisting. Kaylee would go when she would go. It wasn't like she didn't like being in her parents' company. Yet she still hadn't gotten used to the idea of being an only child, the attention fully to herself. It was suffocating, especially when she felt she never quite met their expectations in what her life should be.

Kaylee felt bad for not telling her father the truth about her morning, but she could not do it for now. She was still trying to figure things out herself without needing other people to sneak into her business. The only person she allowed in was Brian because she knew he would get her. He didn't push, he didn't judge. On the contrary, he was someone she could lean onto and find support.

Thinking about him made her snatch the phone from her purse to send him a text.

She wrote "I did it today. It wasn't spectacular, but it's a start right?" and hit send, before finally signing in into her laptop and starting to work.