Rainy Days

3

I wake up resting my head on his bare chest. I can hear the thumping of his heart against my ear and it feels calming, almost like a lullaby. My eyes, still sleepy, feel heavy, trying to convince me to snooze and sleep for a few more minutes. But I can't. My brain is completely awake, reminding me Yoongi will leave in just a few days. He has been by my side since it happened, a month or so ago. But we can't deny he has other obligations, with the world, outside of this bubble we call "home". He broke the news a few days ago, when, after a heated argument, he told me the company had scheduled the group to appear overseas in one of the most important award shows. He had argued, with whomever was on the other line, that he needed more time, and that he had notified management of his leave. Frustration was written all over his face, when he hung up and sat with his hands covering his face. He apologized continuously, telling me even the guys had disagreed with the decision and they all knew we needed more time. But the company didn't want to miss this great opportunity to showcase them, to the world, to millions of fans, oblivious of what was really happening in our lives. Not that they didn't know. The company had already published a press release letting the world know about our loss. But as news go, the headlines lasted no more than a few days, and everyone continued with their lives.

I feel him tossing a little bit and stretching his body under me. His hand immediately caresses my face and his thumb ends up on my lips. He pulls me closer and I comply, moving my body a few more inches to his side. I can feel he's smiling.

"Morning, beautiful..." he says planting a kiss on my forehead.

"Morning..." I reply.

"Did you sleep well?"

"I did... for the most part..." I confess.

"Are you... feeling alright?" he asks now with a concerned look.

"I do... it's just..." I move away from him and sit up. "I'm worried..."

"About what, babe? Me, leaving?" he asks very well knowing the answer.

"Yeah... I mean... I haven't been by myself since Lily..." I stop myself, not ready to say it out loud yet.

"I don't want to leave you alone... but the doctor said you shouldn't travel..." he replies, sitting up too.

"I know... and I don't want to keep you here either... you have already spent so much time here, with me..."

"Brie..." he scolds me. "I want to be with you... this... this journey has been so hard on you, and I want to be there to help you..."

"It has been hard on both of us..." I reply, knowing he has also been crying himself to sleep some nights.

"I can call my mom... she can come and stay with you..." he offers.

"No... thanks, but no..." I say shaking my head. "She was so excited about Lily... I just can't... "

"She loves you..." Yoongi says reaching for my hand.

"And I love her and your family... but I feel so guilty... they were all so happy about her..."

"Brie... I'm going to say this again, there's nothing to feel guilty about... what happened was not your fault... understood?" he says tightening his grip on my hand.

"I'll be okay... I promise..." I lie. "Really..." I try to convince him even though he knows I'm lying.

"I'll call you every morning and every night, and every time I have some free time..."

"Yoongi..." I complain. "You don't need to do that..."

"I want to and I will do it..."

"Time difference remember? Whenever I'll go to sleep, you'll be waking up and so on..."