Rainy Days

10

A bright light welcomes me back, but my eyelids are heavy and I feel tired. I blink once or twice and try to move my head, searching for a familiar face. I'm confused and I don't know what's happening or why am I alone. I look at my hands, both connected to IVs and my body covered by a blanket. Pain shoots from my lower back, my legs almost numb. I try to remember what happened or why I ended up in the hospital, but my memory feels fuzzy. I take a deep breath and try to call Yoongi, but my voice gets caught in my throat. I try again and I can finally say his name out loud. Just when I'm about to call him again, the door opens wide and his eyes meet mine. I smile when I see him rushing to me, to hold my hand.

"Brie... baby... you're awake..." he says with tears flooding his eyes.

"What happened?" I ask genuinely confused.

"Cervical tear, my dear..." Doctor Choi says standing next to me. "We tried to fix it during your c-section, but it looks like it was deeper than we thought..." she replies holding my hand. "You lost a lot of blood, but we were able to really fix everything now..."

"Mmm... doctor... Brie and I... we..." Yoongi says nervously.

"You had sex?" she asks casually with a chuckle.

"Yes..." Yoongi replies looking embarrassed, his cheeks turning red.

"Don't worry, that was not the cause of the bleeding... this was meant to happen with any type of strain... walking up the stairs, yoga, lifting something heavy..."

"Will it happen again?" I ask with concern.

"We'll have to be extra careful next time you're pregnant..." she says putting her hands inside the pockets of her white coat. "Also... and I know you won't like this... you'll be on bed rest for a couple of weeks, until everything heals again, understood?" she says looking at me. "I can't have you losing any more blood, you hear me?"

"Yes..." I reply feeling a bit scared.

"I'll make sure she gets some rest, Doctor Choi..." Yoongi says while caressing my forehead with his thumb.

"And you need to eat... gain some weight, get stronger, okay?" Dr. Choi scolds me. "I'm genuinely happy you are getting intimate again... that's a major step after what you too have been through..." she says smiling at both of us. "You are a beautiful couple..."

"Thank you..." Yoongi says holding a smile.

"I leave you two now... if everything looks good, you'll go home tomorrow..."

The next evening, we arrive home just after sunset. I'm still feeling weak, my body reminding me I am not okay yet. I want to talk to Yoongi about something, something important, but I feel there is a wall between us. He looks at me with a worried look, like he is scared or angry or maybe a mix of both. He hasn't talked to me since we left the hospital and I wonder what is going through his mind right now. Yoongi has a way to hide his feelings, locking them in a dark place he rarely let me in. I move slowly, and he's there for me, guiding me to the bedroom, carefully tucking me in, bringing me tea and crackers. But his mind is somewhere else. He's distant, tense, far away from me.

"Can I get you anything else?" he says running his fingers through his hair.

"No, I have everything I need here..." I reply. "Thank you, Yoongi..."

"It's okay, you don't have to thank me..." he says walking away.

"Yoongi..." I call his name as he turns to face me. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah... I'm okay..." he says unconvincingly.

"You know you can tell me whatever is on your mind..." I say with a soft smile.