So close, yet so far

09

ABUJA, NIGERIA

Hauwa let out a gut wrenching scream as she held her chest tightly as if trying to remove her heart. She steadied herself with the wall behind her and then slumped down as she continued to sob painfully. Just when she thought everything was finally falling into place, why did Bilal Maigoro have to come back?! Why?! Why didn't he stay in whatever wretched place he was? He had traumatised and killed her first love, the first person she had truly ever loved and still loves. He had not only scarred her with his action but the entire Gimba family and yet they couldn't get justice because he was more powerful and rich than they could ever be. She knew who was at fault for ruining her happiness, yet she allowed him roam freely and couldn't avenge the murder of the one person she had truly loved and promised to protect.

Why did he have to be Sa'eed's friend? She could forgive Sa'eed for everything. She didn't even mind when he told her he was once an addict but was willing to change for her but this? She couldn't bring herself to forgive him but it wasn't his fault and he didn't make any mistake so what exactly is she forgiving him for? By Allah she loves Sa'eed more than she loves life.
"Why Sa'eed? Why are you trying to prove everyone right by associating yourself with people like Bilal? That man is a psychopath and yet I can't bring myself to unlove you even though I know I'll one day have to face Bilal through you." Hauwa whispered plainly as she held her chest as though trying to prevent her heart from falling out.
"In your eyes, my soul finds home, forever with you, I belong. You're the sunshine that brightens my day, the moonlight that guides me on my way." She further whispered, directing her words to Sa'eed.

The door to her bedroom creaked open and Muhammad's chubby and smiley face peeked through the small opening he had made. She wished she could be a child again so her mind and heart would be pure and she would get rid of all her traumas but being a child meant no Sa'eed and she would rather die than live in a world without Sa'eed. Yes, she is smitten.
"Aunty Mai-Jidda, are you crying?" Muhammad asked as he stepped into the room with a pout on his cute pink lips and started to clean Hauwa's tears with his chubby little hands. Though Hanan was older than him, he was more sensible and caring and sometimes he would call her a bad girl when she did something their mother had told them not to do.
"I'm not crying baby, something got into my eyes." Hauwa said as she cleaned her tears and Muhammad naively nodded and began pecking every corner of her face. One thing about Aisha's kids is their love for hugs and kisses just like their mother. She got lost in talking and playing with her nephew and niece as Hanan had later joined them and for a moment she forgot all about her troubles.
•
Later as they all sat on the dining table having dinner Hauwa's phone rang and she checked the caller ID and it was none other than Sa'eed, she ignored the call as her heart ached and continued eating her food. The phone started ringing again and Aisha being the nosy woman that she was, peeked her head to see who was calling and she smirked.
"Mine is calling." She said as she air quoted the word 'mine'. Hauwa raised her head from her plate and glared at Aisha enough to make it burn a hole through her head and Aisha laughed loudly and in the process choked on her food. Mubarak, who had been sitting quietly, quickly came to his wife's aid and gave her water.

"You know, don't you?" Hauwa said as she rolled her eyes and Aisha smiled smugly as though she had won a lottery.
"You can't hide things from a mother you know." Aisha said and wiggled her eyebrows.
"But on a serious note," Aisha then reached across the table and held Hauwa's hand that was on the table.
"Mai-Jidda what happened?" She said with a soft smile.
"I already told you he knows Bilal but he is an addict." Aisha was shocked by the revelation of Sa'eed being an addict but she kept quiet, letting Hauwa to voice out what she had been bottling inside her from everyone for the past 14 years. She was a child when it had happened, just 7-years-old but it had been engraved in her memory like a scar refusing to go away. She had witnessed that psychotic and demonic behaviour displayed by a 21-years-old Bilal Maigoro and he had gone away without even a court trial.