Favourite Explosion (Sequel to PAPOM)

Arising Arguments

"Babe! Ugh, thank God. Come play with my hair." Is what I was welcomed home to.

My second day living with Kellin started off amazingly. Waking up beside Kellin snuggled into my chest was arguably the best feeling on the planet. The first things I did that morning was see his face, hear his snores, smell his hair, feel his hug, taste his lips. Each of my senses got a piece of Kellin. I don't understand how someone could get sick of that. He just made me feel so good.

Believe it or not I found it easier to get out of bed with Kellin here. He shockingly didn't get up when I did (note the sarcasm) and probably slept until at least my lunch break. The office was a bore today and it would be an understatement to say I was ecstatic to head home.

When I walked into the door, seeing Kells lying upside-down on the couch, his head and back on the floor and legs perched up on the cushions, I was shocked to say the least.

"First of all, what the hell are you doing? Secondly, why the frig would I do that?"

"Firstly," he mimicked my voice. "I can't get comfortable; secondly, I'm your boyfriend, thus, you have to make me happy. You're like my happiness slave." I chuckled at him and realized how sickeningly true that statement was. I made my way over to him and sat on the couch beside his feet.

"See, this is how normal people use furniture," I told him in a patronizing tone. He rolled his eyes and held a hand out to me. I pulled him up and almost just as instantly, his head landed on my lap. I awkwardly manoeuvred myself so that I didn't block his vision as I moved the locks of hair around, playing with a thicker one and attempting what I thought was a braid. His sighed in content as he moved his textbook onto his lap. Had that been there when I came in? I wasn't sure.

"Studying today?" I asked.

"Yeah, I have a major assignment coming up and I don't know anything about...like anything."

"What the heck do you do in class then?" I asked, stiffling a laugh as I bunched sections of his hair. It was soft to the touch along with thick and luscious. Unlike my thin, stringy hair that I was sure to lose before I'm fifty. Baldness runs in my family.

"Um, not daydream about certain Mexicans, that's for sure," he told me. I chuckled and stopped myself from commenting further. If I kept him from listening in class, the least I could do is let him study to catch up.

I enjoyed sitting there with him, not speaking nor touching over affectionately, just simply being with each other. I let my mind wander off as he worked away.

Our time together had been riddled with distance, and caution on my part. We have had our fair share of drama, too. Mainly considering my line of work. I always put him in danger just by being with him. That's the reason, I tell myself. That's why I keep him to myself. It had to be. There was no way it was a commitment problem. I had gotten over that, right? I was keeping him safe. Sure, Vic. Keep telling yourself that, my conscience spoke up. I groaned outwardly by accident.

"What's wrong?" Kell questioned. The answer sat on my tongue, waiting for me to open my mouth and set it free. I sighed and weighed my options. One, I tell him and he gets mad or laughs at me, maybe even demands me to face my fear. Oh good lord please make one of the formers.

"Um." Oh no, I cursed myself. I just wrote my own death warrant. I spoke quickly, hoping something would get lost in translation as I said, "I have a major commitment problem and I'm starting to get scared again. I feel like I'm going to lose you, like I'm going to run away or back off. I'll go too slowly and you'll get fed up and oh God, now you'll run for the hills, won't you?" I sighed as I finished and buried my face in one hand. He is not allowed look at me right me right now.