Favourite Explosion (Sequel to PAPOM)

Removing Rifts

Everything had to be perfect. I stayed up all night thinking of ways to go about asking for my bliss. I finally found a way that seemed like me as well as him. It involved our usual dynamics and represented the life and vibrancy of our relationship. I needed only one date with him to complete my mission. And one date I got.

"Hey, Maria. Is Kellin up?"

"I don't think so, but you can go check," she answered. I smiled and walked through the door after she stepped to the side. I waved to Matty as I passed him in their small hall.

I chuckled as I reached Kellin's door. Only he could still be asleep at 1:45PM. I knocked and got no response, so I pressed my ear against the door and sure enough, small snores resinated from the opposite side. My heart fluttered at the peaceful noise. I opened the door and quickly closed it behind me, jumping onto the bed beside him. Disgruntled, he rolled into me and his hand landed on my chest.

I couldn't help myself from leaning over and kissing his forehead lightly. I laced my fingers with his and pulled his hand to my lips as well. He sighed lightly and I saw him smile in his sleep. I slid an arm under him and pulled his body closer. God dammit I missed sleeping with him. It was definitely my favourite thing for us to do. Yes, even better than that. It reminded me of a poem I read one day; it was called Redefining love, and was written by a friend of mine.

It went something like this:

I used to think that the definition of love was wanting to sleep with someone.
Because that's what we were taught:
That whenever a man and a woman love each other, they went to bed and that, my friends, is how babies are made.

So I was taken aback,
To say the least,
When I fell in love with the way (he) held a pen cap between (his) teeth,
Lips slightly parted as (he) concentrates on what (he's) doing,
While I focus on that pen cap,
Dangling there so perfectly.
Unlike any cigarette I've ever seen,
This was something beautifully new entirely,
The rosy blush in (his) cheeks, contrasting dark green irises flawlessly.

I am so caught up in (his) beauty, the beauty (he) doesn't see,
That when our eyes meet,
I look away quickly,
Guiltily,
As an apology,
As if to say "I'm sorry you're beautiful."

I know I must have a stupid look on my face,
Like a child caught eating the forbidden candy bar,
Who swallows quickly,
But fails to wipe off his chocolate coated fingers.

And maybe I only like you because I know nothing could ever happen between us and that seems safe, somehow.
Using your presumed heterosexuality as a shield.

I have a theory that Romeo wouldn't have loved Juliet so much if it weren't a forbidden love.

And my catholic upbringing left me wondering if I should hate gays.
But dear God, if you want to throw me in Hell for being anything but heterosexual, go ahead.
Loving (him) will have been worth every minute of it.

We were taught that the definition of love was wanting to go to bed with someone.
And fuck yes, do I want to sleep with (him).
But just sleep.
With (him).
By my side.
Waking up every morning with a smile on my face because I know (he) is right there next to me.
Beautiful eyes, blushed cheeks and all.

Pen cap between (his) teeth.

Redefining love.

I found it beautiful, stunning, breathingtaking, and describing exactly how I felt about Kellin. If I could get paid to do nothing but lay in bed with him all day, I would be more than ecstatic.