The Other Half of Me

Chapter 6 ~ The Beach

⚠︎ This chapter discusses topics such as depression, suicidal thoughts, and anxiety ⚠︎

Elliot

I don't know why, but around Christmas time, I just had no energy. That's why I couldn't finish the painting I was making for Kyran. I would get up to continue working on it, but I just couldn't bring myself to actually paint. I thought that after the new years, I'd be back to normal, but that didn't happen. I was still so tired.

It got bad to the point where I wouldn't get out of bed. Luckily, we were still on winter break, so I didn't have to worry about missing school, but unfortunately, I wasn't able to do anything like eat, go to the bathroom, or shower on my own. Trinity had to carry me out of bed and help me shower. It was an embarrassing few days, but she didn't laugh at me once. I think she was genuinely concerned, which was correct, because she scheduled me an appointment with my therapist.

I was a bit annoyed about going to therapy, but I also knew that it would be beneficial. After Trinity helped me shower and get dressed, we left the house. I slept the entire way there. Despite getting a lot of sleep, I still felt tired. When we arrived, I got out of the car on my own, which was progress.

Trinity walked me to the door before giving me a tight hug. I then went inside, and Ms. Baird led me to her office. I laid on the couch, still feeling drained even though I didn't do much.

"It's nice to see you again, Elliot," she said, sitting down on her rolling chair. "Your sister told me what's been going on. She tells me you haven't been eating or showering."

"I'm just tired," I said.

"Remember how we identified some of your triggers?"

"Yeah."

"Do you know what may have caused it?"

I thought for a little bit. The only thing that was triggering for me was the time my uncle broke into the house, but that was months ago. Why would it be affecting me now?

"I don't know." I looked at the paintings on the walls. "The only thing I can think of is that time when my uncle broke into the house."

"When was this?"

"Like, seven months ago," I answered. "I was gonna tell you...eventually."

"It's okay," she said. "Remember, I told you that if you're not ready to unlock certain things yet, that's okay. You can't rush into things like this."

"But I don't understand why something that happened a while ago would be affecting me now."

"Your mind is starting to process the event. Sometimes things don't hit us right away."

"That's annoying."

"Yes," Ms. Baird chuckled. "It can be very annoying."

"What do I do about this tiredness?"

"This isn't something that will be fixed in just one day," she said, which made me sigh. "But you took the very first step: coming here. Try to go outside, even if it's just for a few minutes. You have to try to move and interact with people."

"Oh, great," I said sarcastically.

"It won't be easy, but starting off slowly will help."

"You're the one with the degree, so I guess you know what you're talking about," I said. "I'll try."

After my session, Trinity picked me up, and we went to get some ice cream, our usual routine after my sessions. Plus, I wanted to try to stay out of the house as long as possible. I didn't want to end up just staying in bed all day.