PAGES OF MY LIFE

Part 8

It was Lai, just as I'd hoped. She's the one who came to visit me.

I rushed over to her, pulling her into a tight hug. "I've missed you so much, Lai. How are you? It's been too long."

"I'm doing great," Lai replied, her voice warm and familiar. "How about you? You've been okay here, right?"

"It's been good. Studying medicine is tough, but it's also incredibly rewarding. The people here have been so welcoming; they take good care of us," I said, trying to keep my voice steady.

Lai's expression grew serious. "How about your mom? Does she know you're studying medicine now? Does she know you came here?"

"Yeah, I told my family. At first, they didn't want me to come—worried too much, as usual. But I made it clear that I'd already decided. And now, here I am." My voice faltered slightly, but I kept talking.

After talking for a while, I suggested we go to her favorite spot by the sea. As we walked along the shore, the conversation took a more serious turn.

"Why couldn't we contact you? Did you change your number?" Lai asked, her concern evident.

"I didn't change anything," I admitted. "I just... stopped using my phone. That's all."

"You know, after I found out where you were, I saved up every penny just to buy a plane ticket to see you. I have so many questions, but I'll always wait for you to tell me why you left like that," Lai said, her tone gentle but probing.

Her patience, her understanding—it nearly brought me to tears. Lai had always been like this, giving me the space I needed, never pushing too hard. But I knew I owed her an explanation, even if I wasn't ready to give it just yet.

"Lai... sometimes, I think leaving everything behind was the only thing I could do. I'm so sorry." Tears streamed down my face, and I didn't bother wiping them away.

"I'll always understand you, Thandar. But... there's someone who's been really hurt by your leaving, someone who never got the answers he needed." Lai's voice was soft, but her words hit hard.

"So... did you come here to help him get those answers?" I asked, almost afraid of what she might say.

"No," she said, shaking her head. "I just wondered... will you ever tell him why?"

"Maybe... maybe someday." I couldn't meet her eyes.

"You know," Lai said, trying to lighten the mood, "you could get a new phone. Start fresh. Maybe even enjoy what's on YouTube like the rest of us adults."

"Would that really make a difference?" I asked, a small smile tugging at my lips.

"Thandar, you don't have to hide everything. It's okay to show when you're hurting. That's how healing begins," Lai said, her eyes full of concern.

I smiled at her suggestion, grateful for her constant support.

"Don't overwork yourself, okay? Health is wealth," Lai reminded me.

"Lai... should I tell you my secret?" I hesitated, but I knew it was time.

"Should I keep your secret, as always?" Lai asked, her voice gentle.

"Yes, please." I took a deep breath. "My mom... she knows about Evan. She knows who he was to me. She told me I'm the only one who can save our family from poverty. My mom has so much debt from my father's surgery and from sending us to school. When I found out about her struggles, I knew I had to become the breadwinner. I had to let go of Evan because I couldn't handle the responsibility of a relationship. I was afraid I'd only hurt him because of my busy schedule. Leaving him, breaking up with him... it felt like the only choice. I want him to be happy, and I couldn't give him that with all my burdens. He's the type of person who would always help me, and I didn't want that because it would only make his life harder." I cried, finally letting it all out.

"You don't want to tell him that? What if he's waiting for you?" Lai asked, worry clouding her eyes.

"No! Don't... don't let him wait. Just let him think whatever he wants. Please, Lai," I begged.

"Thandar... he's not doing well. He might wait for you, even if it means forever." Lai's voice was thick with concern.