The Dead were bad, the living were worse, and the Screamers were the stuff of nightmares.
But sometimes I feel the biggest threat now are the drugs.
Everyone is broken now. Everyone has trauma, and they all know loss. They all have seen horrors they need help to forget.
So after society went down, all the dealers rose up, just like the Dead. It's their world now, more than the Dead's. They have customers now that won't quit.
You think what law enforcement is left still care about "just say no"? Hell, they seen worse than anyone. They need to forget more than the rest. About the only reason they will stop you for drugs is rob you.
Drugs are more important than anything else, now. Not just what we used to call the soft stuff. Hard drugs like heroin and crack can't be avoided now, they are so common place.
But the new drugs are even worse. People always were coming up with new ways to cook your brain. But all this new garbage will have you flying, dying, and crying until you crash.
Now you got your Sparkle.
Sparkle is a soft powder that looks like yeast. When you do Sparkle you lay down on your back. The person helping you loads a staw full, then they blow all that's in the straw up your nose. It hits the part of your brain that keeps your memories. All of a sudden you can remember something clearly, like it's all happening again. You remember people like they are there now, or places like your right back there again.
People do Sparkle to see departed loved ones, and not like we see them now.
I don't touch the stuff. I need to forget, not remember.
Another new drug is Heaven Flowers. Heaven Flowers are little drops you put on your tongue, and then you press those drops up to the top of your mouth. Makes you see flowers growing in front of you, blooming everywhere.
Only it doesn't work on everyone, and doesn't work on anyone all the time.
Never did work on me.
Then you got your Kanga and Roo, two drugs you take together. Makes you hop around laughing for a couple of hours.
I have seen people break their ribs and sprain their ankles, using KangaRoo.
I never liked it.
No, what I got messed up on was worse than any of the rest.
I got hooked on Shine.
There has never been a more poorly named drug than Shine. Nothing to do with moonshine, nothing shiny about it. When you drink it, you go dark. Dark in heart, dark in spirit. Nothing matters, nothing feels.
Shine comes in those clear plastic bottles, the kind they used sell booze in. Thick, black liquid; looks like dark coffee, smells like sewage, tastes like death.
People start out just sipping at those bottles, Shine is so powerful. A whole shot bottle will knock you out in about ten minutes. Sometimes you will have convulsions. Two bottles will cripple you for a week. Three bottles can put you in a coma. Four will pretty much kill you.
At my worst, I was drinking three bottles at a time.
I was living in a Kansas City Shine House, doing whatever to stay there. Mike finally had to come up after me, just before the big bomb came down.
He will have to tell that part of the story, when he gets the chance. I don't remember too much.
I just know I owe him my life and my soul, whatever those things are still worth.
Most people are smart enough to stay away from Shine. Now days it's pretty much dried out. Only the most damaged people chase it down.
Only other person in our group to get hooked like me was Sammy. She's broken, too. I know what broke her down, but I ain't saying.
My reason for needing Shine is Barbara. I'm broken because of what I did to her.
