you were the girl that i had been attracted to since the start of middle school.
your short hair, your upside down smile, your dimples,
the way you looked at me made it seem like i was the only one.
i even broke up with my ex for you
yet i still wasn't clear enough to you.
was i not obvious when i flirted with you?
when you dragged me with you onto the dance floor during homecoming, my heart skipped a beat.
you encouraged me to have fun and to dance with you,
by then i realized that i had fallen in love with you.
when i confessed to you during november, you asked me,
"what if you stop liking me again?"
and i promised you that i wouldn't.
i bought you flowers and had it specially arranged just for you
the first girl i'd ever bought a bouquet for
i was ready to date you with marriage in mind, be with you through your ups and downs, and ask if i could be yours through a love letter.
i wanted to take you to the winter formal, go on dates, help take care of your little brother.
so why? why did you pull me towards the buses after school saying that you needed to tell me something.
i knew it was something bad by the look on your face
you held my hands and said,
"i know we weren't dating but i want to break up. i still want to be friends though! i love the way you laugh when you're with friends and the way you smile."
i pulled my hands away once i heard that come out of your mouth
then, for the first time since we had talked, you told me those three words that i had been wanting to hear and say to you.
"i love you"
you expect me to just forgive you like that?
have everything be the same as it was before?
no, it can't.
now i realize that those eyes look at everybody in the same way, the same body language, same smile.
when you said you liked me back, did you say that to him too?
why would he text me a few hours after you "broke up" with me?
everybody knew you treated people like you treated me but i was the only one that didn't know.
do you think liking my instagram stories fix anything?
if you really want me back then just say it.
i know you won't and you never will.
don't expect me to come running back to you like i did before.
you've disappointed me and disgusted me.
YOU ARE READING
escapism
Romancewriting a letter/poem? when i feel emo or "in love" join me as i go through teenage feelings LMAO updates are spontaneous, it depends on if there's anything happening in my life. enjoy reading my horrendous writing!
