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Brave

Pidge doubts her capabilities as a paladin, Keith strongly disagrees.

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"Be courageous."

"Do your best."

"Don't give up."

"Keep fighting."

"Succeed."

Those were words Pidge and the other paladin had grown to hear a lot ever since their perilous journey amongst the stars started. Of course they knew these people were right to tell them this and they all did their best to live up to those comments. In front of the inhabitants of the planets they saved. The leaders of said places.

Each other...

Often, the girl found she lacked the spirit to continue fighting without ever backing down.

It was so exhausting to do so.

Always standing straight, chin high up, determination in her eyes, fight in her heart... The list goes on.

Why wasn't she as valiant as the rest of her teammates? How did they do it?

She was terribly scared to admit how much fear she had locked up inside her chest. Losing her friends. Never finding her father and brother. Disappointing the people she cared so much for... the entire universe. Dying in an atrocious situation in action.

Shiro often told them that it was normal if they felt self-conscious from time to time. Their mission was hard after all. Lance and Hunk had spoken up on a few occasions, but her...

Someone always managed to lift their spirits up, hell, sometimes she was the one to do so and yet, her hands were still trembling while theirs were clenched in determination.

It wasn't a secret to anyone, whoever stole a glance her way could tell she was young. They all were, but her even more. So what would she do if people called her too childish to save them, deemed she wasn't fit to be a paladin anymore, that it would be better if someone more mature replaced her?

She once woke up in sweats after dreaming they went back to earth, only to leave without her. It worried her more than she was willing to admit.

So Pidge fought hard and did her best to appear fearless, just like Keith was, never backing down in front of the enemy.

However, after today's mission, where they all almost died, the girl honestly just wanted to nestle in her mother's arms and sob until she fell asleep. She wanted her dad to whisper in her ears how great she was, how bright her future was, full of discoveries and wonderful adventures. She wanted to sit on the couch in their living room and play video games with Matt, Bae Bae cuddles at their feet until their fingers cramped.

She wanted her family.

She just wished someone was there to comfort her in a calming and protective embrace. Someone to tell her she had it in her.

*******

Pidge never understood this, how could she possibly be so tired and at the same time, unable to fall asleep?

She had to go do something else to distract herself rather than mindlessly staring at her ceiling, reliving today's events.

What she didn't expect to find on her quest toward a pastime was Keith, sitting on the observation deck, looking as emotionally and physically defeated as she did. She should leave him alone and head somewhere else. He liked his peace the same way she appreciated hers.

Pidge had no idea what pushed her to slowly walk toward him. Exhaustion perhaps.

Who knows.

"Do you mind if I sit with you?" She saw how her voice startled him, he was usually constantly aware of his surroundings, much to Lance's deception since this meant he could never jumpscare the red paladin. Keith cleared his throat. "Yeah, if you really want to." She whispered a small thanks and settled next to him without further words.

They could have sat there for vargas, doboshes, ticks staring at the stars without uttering a thing. She liked their silence, they were never awkward. They both didn't care anyway, this was the most relaxed they had been in a while.

"Why are you up?" said Keith, surprising the girl, she hadn't expected him to talk at all. She knew it would be fine with him if she wanted to keep this private, but it would be rude if she didn't answer him after she interrupted his alone time. "I'm just doubting myself a bit, I guess. Being a paladin of Voltron can be very difficult most of the time. And today was..." She didn't have to finish her sentence, he nodded in agreement, understanding her unsaid words.

"Yeah, happens to me all the time. Today was hard, and even saying this is an understatement." She hesitated before speaking, she was really tired, thoughts kept escaping her mouth without her permission. "I wish I was as strong as you and the others, especially you, though. I have no idea how you do this."

Keith didn't waste a second before tearing his eyes away from the mesmerizing scenery in front of them that was now so normal to them to grab her shoulder, turning her toward him. His eyes were wide as they observed her. "You're kidding, Pidge, you do so much for all of us! Without you, I'm sure we would have the opportunity to die on so many different occasions and our lions would be way less functional! You're incredibly brave, fighting an intergalactic while on the quest for your family. You always work so hard, acting as the team's brain more times than we can count. I should be the one wanting to be like you, not the opposite."

"You think I'm brave?" His eyes softened at the tone of her voice, it was probably the first time he had heard it sound like that. "Of course I do."

They smiled at each other for a while until Pidge saw Keith's face turned red, why would he look like he was blushing? Oh. She could swear their body had gotten closer since he had grabbed her.

This was so embarrassing!

And yet, both didn't move, staying near each other, faces flushed. Pidge blamed her half-awake mind for what she did next.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, hesitating to rest her head on his shoulder when he froze for a moment until his own limbs circled her waist, making the distance disappear between them.

Over the sound of their rapid beating heart, she spoke. "I think you're brave too."

That night, a light lit up in their brain and both finally understood what was that feeling in their hearts when they were around each other.

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