There is not enough letters in the alphabet to tell you how much I love you

Failure

Ever since Shiro vanished, Keith and Pidge have been feeling like failures. Luckily for them, they have each other.

*******

Shiro would be so disappointed in him.

He entrusts the entire team in his hands which results in all of them getting hurt.

How could he let them all down by making a mistake that almost killed them?

They told him it wasn't a good idea. Their situation was becoming way too dangerous. They weren't ready. They were completely surrounded.

Keith didn't listen, ordering them to keep fighting.

And as if the universe was trying to mock him, they all ended up in healing pods.

All except him.

Forcing the newly named black paladin to watch in defeat the people he cared the most for as they stood there, unconscious.

Keith really felt like the most pathetic being.

*******

What would her mother say?

She leaves her all alone in search of the missing members of her family and yet, Pidge still has no clue where they might be even after all this time.

Nothing to prove they might still be alive.

At first, seeing Shiro alive brought back the hope she was beginning to slowly lose. Even though they had been separated, she knew her brother and father had it in them to survive. To fight.

But now, with their leader gone...

She didn't want to think about it.

*******

Lately, taking out her anger on training bots has become a habit of Pidge's. It may not be the healthiest way of dealing with inner turmoil but, it was enough for now.

Punching, kicking, dodging, hell, even taking a hit released the huge amount of pent-up stress she had to handle on a daily basis.

It was the middle of the night, usually, only Shiro would have been awake at such time. Actually, now that she thinks about it, there was also-

"Pidge, what are you doing here?"

Keith.

Quickly, the girl finished off her opponent. "I could ask you the same question." His eyes refused to meet hers. She thinks she might have heard him mutter something like "bored," but she couldn't be certain. In all honesty, the green paladin was exhausted. And even if that was what he did say, Pidge wasn't sure she'd believe him.

"Well...care to join me?"

Surprisingly, he did, and the night after, and many more. It kinda became an unspoken rule between the two. If one of them walked in during one's training session, they were always welcome to join.

Not too long after, it became a habit for one to seek out the other. Not only for having a training partner, but someone to hang out with.

If their teammate noticed the sudden shift in their relationship, they stayed silent.

*******

Should I say something?

Ask what we are doing?

What am I to him?

What am I to her?

These questions plagued both of their minds, but neither dared to act on it, worried that it might destroy whatever they had going on.

What had initially started as training buddies was changing. To what? Who knew?

At first, Keith would show her way to perfect her techniques while Pidge helped him Black more.

Then, when the tension between the inhabitants of the spacecastle became too high, they would stay together in their rooms or hangars.

And now, every time after they were done exercising for a long period of time that Shiro would for sure reprimand them for, they would shower and meetup -usually in Keith's room since it was cleaner- to rest their exhausted muscles and go to sleep. Cuddled close for warmth, knowing no nightmares will manage to make its way into their brain.

So yes, they had become in a way addict to the other's presence. And yes, neither understood what it meant to them, what was that emotion in their hearts.

But it was fine for Pidge, it made her feel more comfortable than she had in a while. Having someone who she knew could rely on her gave that sentiment of being accomplished.

Once, Keith had doubts, it didn't take long for the girl to realize and ask about it. "You don't feel forced into this because I'm now the lea-" "Of course not, don't be stupid."

It ended there.

Whatever this was was never discussed.

But tonight, Pidge had enough, it was time she said something. Spending most ticks of the day in his company, knowing there was more was becoming too annoying. Like an itch she couldn't scratch. Nobody was stopping her, so why hasn't she done anything yet?

"Hey Keith." He hummed as a response. She could feel the vibration as her head rested on his chest. "You're not a failure."

From the sound of his voice, she could tell he was smiling. "Thanks, neither are you."

For a few movements, they relaxed in silence as Pidge was finally beginning to fall victim to slumber. On his side, Keith was wide awake. What she said wasn't much, but it was enough to bring back a bit of the confidence he was losing more and more every day.

How could a few words affect him so much?

That was a stupid question, the answer was oblivious. It was because she said it.

He looked down at her closed eyes. "P- Katie. Still awake?" They stayed close, but the slight nod of her head told him she heard.

"You mean a lot to me, I'm not really sure what it is; however, I can recognize that without you, my life would be even messier than it currently is... Ok that's not true, I now understand what I feel toward you, I'm just scared that I ruin everything we have. I don't know if you see where I'm going with all this, but please just hear me out before you decide to leave. You're not obligated to reciprocate at all, I want you to know. Being next to you all the time and imprisoning this secret in my heart is slowly killing me..."

With his rambling, Keiht didn't even sense Pidge move. It was only when he brought his eyes back in her direction that he realized her face was centimetres away from his.

"I like you too silly. No need to panic."

Wordlessly, the black paladin's hand made their way to her face, holding it gently. "Can I?" He truly sucked speaking out loud what his heart really wanted to express. It was fine though, she would forever understand what was unsaid.

How did he get so lucky?

Pidge closed the distance between them. The kiss was short, but both were so tired. They still had tomorrow and the following day, until the rest of their lives.

"I love you Katie."

*******

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