✰ 𝕃𝕠𝕤𝕥 ✰

Lost: 24

I let my mom know that I left my scroll at school by accident incase she tries to text me. In the morning I tried looking for Amaya to ask if it was possible I left it in the greenhouse, but I couldn't find her anywhere this morning.

So most of the day I just went to my classes. I figured if I couldn't find her this morning I'll look for her at lunch and ask her.

Currently I'm in my healing extracurricular. We're reading some textbooks right now, and then later in the week we're gonna try and conjure a beam.

I can't help but drift off into my own head as I read.

...

I can do fine without my scroll, I don't even really use it as much unless I need to contact my family or something. Or if someone texts me which they never really do.

The only person who's been texting me as of recently has been Amaya. I wonder if she texted me at all yesterday.

Why has she been getting more involved with me lately? It confuses me.

And she's been really affectionate too and it's really hard for me to tell what her intent behind that is. She's with Lumin, and I know Lumin cares for her. She shouldn't be acting like this with me, it makes me uncomfortable.

...

I don't know, I'm not used to random bursts of affection like that. I've been at home for so long that it just feel irregular for people other than my family (typically my mom) to do that. Is it normal for friends to be like that?

What were we like when we were younger? Were we anything like that?

But then again we were young, we wouldn't know better.

... I should have tried to go to school much sooner because I feel like my sense of input processing is lagging far behind others. I haven't been around people my age in a long while.

Why didn't I come during my freshman year?

Highschool is already such a big change from elementary school and I just threw myself in here. I should have thrown myself earlier but I was too cowardly.

I was a coward because I was fearful of Lumin hurting me or something again. And then I see him again and he's way shorter than me and instead of discussing serious topics revolving myself like he used to, he talks about his problems and other funny stuff to me all the time.

I can't believe I was afraid of him, and he didn't even turn out to be that much of a threat.

I mean I don't know. He probably could be if I piss him off hard enough but I feel like he actually has matured a bit more.

Obviously not exactly mature considering his weird spontaneous behavior but Amaya was right. He's made progress.

...

Amayas always right.

How is she like that?

Shes so mysterious. She seems like she holds so many secrets, and I think that alone makes people drawn to her, because they WANT to know what's behind her. But Amayas a tough nut to crack.

I mean, if she's with Lumin... and her and Lumin have known eachother for 8 years and she still doesn't show her true side to him, she really is a tough nut to crack.

...

I sigh.

Yes, I had a thing for her when I was younger. Did I completely deny it all the time whenever Lumin brought it up? Yes, because I knew he would tease me about it till I lie in my grave.