Feelings Lie ( I Don't Feel Anything)

~there's this boy~

A tall boy with curly dark hair that covered his forehead- "hello?" Lydia asked then the boy turned to look at her direction she then remembered the photo on the wall of the school, she saw yesterday at the hall. The photo she stared, with a boy with orange hair wearing uniform. And this was him that boy but no orange hair no uniform rather in a blue and white tracksuit and a jacket matching with the tracksuit they stared at each others eyes for a moment, not moving a single inch but just staring at each other's eyes.

"Are you stalking me ?" Lydia finally asked.

A frown grew from the boy's face and it instantly turned to an unrealist smile trying to force a tiny laugh, "I can't even bring myself to laugh at your joke" he said.

Lydia then faced the front, ignoring the fact that she made a joke for the first time in her life. "Why your didn't look disgusting or twitched it if I made a joke?" Lydia asked.

The boy looked at Lydia "I still havent caught your name rude girl." He says while smiling, Lydia still looked front trying to process the meaning of the word rude. She remained quiet for some seconds.

After seconds of silence the bus arrived, and stood in front of them, the boy started to move towards the door then stopped when Lydia finally spoke and said "don't follow me" the boy smiled still not turning around "you're telling the wrong person actually,  you're telling someone who dosent even care about you." He said and entered the bus.

Lydia stood there and watched the bus leave. "Care means?" She asked herself as the bus left,

"Aren't you taking the bus?" Someone asked from behind her, she didn't turn around since she knew the voice belonged to Nate, "get some glasses, you'll be able to see if the bus left me or not." She said and started to walk on the pavement.

"How does she know the way to school?" Nate asked himself as he watched her leave.

Lydia came to school after an hour, she instantly got inside the building to find out she was late, no one was in the hall, she walked past the photographs on the wall and saw the boy from earlier, but she just walked past it.

She headed for her classroom.  To find everyone quietly sitting down,  she didn't knock she just entered the class and everyone turned their heads to her, including zack the boy from earlier. But he immediately looked down seeing it was just Lydia.

"Miss Moore you're la-" " I know didn't see the need to tell me." Lydia said quietly stopping the teacher from speaking,  she then moved to her desk quietly and quietly sat down. As she sat down. The siren stated that class was over.

As the teacher moved out of class, people started moving out of the class. Then slightly a shadow came in front of Lydia,  "I'm sorry"  the person said. Hearing that Lydia raised her head to see zack.

"I shouldn't have said anything stupid I just had a bad morning," he said again. Lydia looked at him trying to process what he was apologising for. Zack then silenced his voice and he came down and kneeled before her desk.and their heads faced each other.

Lydia was still not looking at him. "Do you forgive me?" He asked Lydia who raised her head and their eyes met. For a moment, they looked at each other then Lydia looked on her left, not replying.

She just didn't know what to say and she particularly wasn't paying attention to him.
"I see that you might be sad about what I said? I don't know what I was spouting, I just don't want you to be the first person who dislikes me here, and the fact that I still don't know your name but it's okay but know I'm sorry don't take it to heart."
Zack said and stood up to go to his chair.

Lydia wasn't neither confused, sad, angry, or took anything to heart. She did listen to zack but she is already forgetting what he said. The rest of the day was okay.

Lydia decided to take the bus back home, and she found no one home.  There was a letter on top of the table, she didn't even read it or neither take it, She just headed to her room and placed her bag and went downstairs,

She made ramyeon and she sat down on a chair in the kitchen and watched the opening window in the kitchen. It was sunny, just few minutes it turned cloudy, and started to rain the water slowly fell upon the window to the soil.

Lydia stared at the window not moving her eyes away, after a long stare she slowly started to blink, and she remembered a memory in the past. When she was in primary school.

Year 2020 : a rainy day

"Is your parent also not coming?" A girl in tears standing outside the door of their school asked Lydia who just came out of the door. "I  asked her to not to come"  Lydia quietly answered her, "mine are busy they are always busy, no time for me I usually walk home but I'm afraid of the rain." The girl said, tears coming from her eyes. Lydia stared the girl. "What's wrong with your eyes. Do you have a hole somewhere on your head making the rain get in and go through your eyes?" Lydia asked. The girl turned turned to face Lydia and she laughed wiping the tears away, "it's tears they are Normal it happens to anyone and everyone. Everyone cries at some point even the strongest people have a soft spot, no one is tough enough to be not weakened. Everyone eventually has a weak spot, and mine is simple my weak spot is -"

"Lydia you're back," a voice behind her interrupted her thoughts her she slowly turned the back and saw Nate, Tane and her mother by the door carrying plastics, "We went shopping he said again.

"Hope you had no trouble staying alone for a couple of minutes," her mother said coming towards her then saw her with a bowl "did you read the letter?" She asked seeing her food. "Didn't see the need" Lydia said.

"I cooked you food I putted it in the microwave, I written that down on the letter," the her voice decreased " I wrote that down. She said again. "I'll read the next letter" Lydia said and took her last ramyeon and stood up. "I'm not eating dinner" she said and went to her room.

"Thank God mom didn't give birth to me to become like Lydia" Tane said, "mom are you sure there is no cure for Lydia?" Nate asked.
"It's like a dissability she can never be cured"

"Years past and nothing in this world could cure her, she's born this way she will die this way but I would be delighted to feel my daughter's love even if it's for a day, God please find a way to cure her, so I can also feel completed and gather joy in my heart, make her find happiness and joy make her feel emotions. That's all I request. Amen"