Jomies oneshots

Temptations

TYY TO @EmpatheticEowyn FOR DA REQUEST !!! ( •́ω•̀)♡

TW: suicide, emo Drew 😔, uhh slight bl

***Drew's POV***

9:04 pm.

Ever since me and that prick ended things between us, I've felt myself unable to get my ass out of my room. Everything's been going wrong since he left, and all I can think about is how much I hate myself for wanting him back. He ditched me, kept things from me, and didn't even bother telling me what he wanted. So why do I miss him so damn much?

...

I've stopped talking to Henry and Liam. I don't feel the need to talk with them anymore, not when my heart feels this empty. I didn't even realize how much I need... him... not until I lost him. (WHY'D I MAKE HIM SO FUCKING EMO) 

Liam tried reaching out to me once. He pulled me aside and took me to a secluded place in the hallway, looked me straight in the eye and clearly wanting an answer. "Dude, what the hell is wrong with you? You haven't been talking to us at all. If anything, you've gotten snappier." He kept a firm grip on my shoulders, and I didn't even have the energy to protest. I took a deep sigh.

 "...it's nothing. Go away." I tried to pull away, but I couldn't budge from his death grip.

 "No." He said firmly. "Explain, now."

I could tell he wasn't backing down. I had kept myself together that entire time, managing a neutral expression, but for some reason, in that moment, I suddenly felt like crying. 

My lip trembled and my shoulders started to shake, no matter how much I tried to hide it. My chest heaved unevenly and I could feel tears pricking at my eyes. When Liam noticed this, his expression softened slightly. 

 "Hey... Talk to me, man..." He suddenly pulled me into a tight embrace, gently rubbing my back. "Don't cry... tell me what's bothering you.."

 My shoulders stiffened, and I hesitated before leaning into him slightly, wrapping my arms around his waist and trying so hard not to cry..

But to no avail.

I let out a quiet, strangled sob and buried my face into his shoulder, trying desperately to muffle the sounds. His embrace was so overwhelmingly comforting, that I couldn't stop. Eventually, I was full on crying, shaking and holding onto him tightly as I gave up on trying to hide it. I hated being vulnerable at all, let alone in front of people. But I couldn't care less at this moment. I was desperate to know someone cared, even if I tried to push that away.

I cringe looking back at that. I hated that night, and I still do. Explaining everything didn't make me feel better, not in the slightest. The only thing that brought me comfort was being in Liam's arms, but it doesn't help that he saw a different side of me that night. The side I wanted to hide. The side I was supposed to hide. That made me hate myself further. Why couldn't I just keep myself together? Why did I have to break like that? And... why was I comfortable with being vulnerable in front of... him? (OH SHART THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE DRUFFERING NOT DRIAM 😔) 

I went on a walk to clear my thoughts. But it didn't clear anything. If anything, it made things worse. I could feel my thoughts spiralling and my breathing getting slightly shaky. Losing Jake as well as those other idiots isn't a reason to jump into depression, but things have been piling up. For example, my parents started to go on multiple business trips, in which they leave me alone in the house. I never really cared about them. They don't care what I want, so why should I care what they want? I bet if I went and killed myself tonight, they wouldn't give a fuck.

No one would.

No... that's not true... think about your friends.

What friends? The ones you've ignored for the past four weeks? 

I'm just in a bad state right now.

Are you though? Or do you really want to die?

...

I stopped walking. I was practically fighting with my own thoughts at this point. I was trying so hard to block them out, but they wouldn't go away. I suddenly let out a quiet sob, quickly covering my mouth in an attempt to escape attention. I could practically feel the late-night walkers' eyes on me, but I ignored them and kept walking. I tried to wipe my eyes discreetly, but the street lamps made it very clearly visible. That was one of the only times I wished street lights didn't even exist. I silently cursed myself and walked a bit faster, not even knowing where I was going. I just had to get out of there. I wasn't about to break down again in public. 

After a few minutes of desperately trying to hold back tears, I gave up and hid behind a tree, pulling my knees up to my chest and burying my face into them. I started sobbing and tilted my head back in an attempt to keep the tears from falling, but they just continued to roll down my neck. In between sniffles, I suddenly spotted a bridge.

a goofy doodle of the sillies heh 

SORRY FOR THE CLIFFHANGER LMAO

uhh should he khs or should I make his boyfriend run after him and tell him he doesn't hafta do this and then he suddenly feels so inspired and decides to turn his life around ?? /j I can make it better than it sounds I swear 🙏🙏