Fathers and Law: Lom and Fah Book One

Chapter 32

*Trigger Warning: Attempt at Self Harm

Several hours earlier Fah awoke to discover Lom had left. His hands began to tremble and his body shook with unexpected laughter. Upon sitting up his gunshot wound began throbbing. The pain meds were dulling it somewhat but failed to remove the pain entirely. He decided to use this time alone to explore the condo.

Beautiful place, Lom, is this the reward for beating and killing people? Through the sliding doors to the balcony, he was able to see the MahaNakhon in the distance.

Fah quickly remembered he killed three people and once again fought the urge to vomit. Whenever he tried closing his eyes he saw their faces and he relived the killings.

He realized he would need a lot of psychiatric help and merit-making at the temple to move past what he had done. But how would he get help without admitting he had murdered people? Perhaps he was going to face jail time himself. If so, he wouldn't fight it.

Sitting there he relived how wonderful it had been to finally meet Khun Adi and his family. My family thought Fah. Never before had he been able to use that phrase. That reminded him of Ton and Lom.

He avoided thinking about Lom at all. His heart still loved Lom, the Lom whom he believed also loved him. He missed him so much it hurt. His brain admonished him for loving someone who never existed.

He wished he could call Mek and tell him everything. Mek always gave good advice. However, when they went to bed the night of the abduction, his cell phone, along with Run's, had been on the desk charging. Hopefully, someone told Khun Korn what occurred. He felt guilty for not being at work and helping with the caseload.

He realized he was wasting time.

I'm not sure how long he'll be gone, I need to move fast so he can't save me.

It took all of his strength to push himself across the bed without ripping out the IV.

I'm about to kill myself and I'm worried about the IV.

This thought made him giggle out loud. The sound surprised him - it didn't even sound like his own voice. Maybe the morphine was affecting his hearing, or his voice, or both.

It's not any stranger than the fact that Lom shot me and had a doctor treat the wound. Now he's keeping me alive when he still plans on killing me.

He continued his slow journey across the California king-size bed to the far bedside table. He slid the drawer open and found the prepared syringes of antibiotics in a row. Below them were a row of prepared syringes of morphine.

Fah noticed something in the far back corner. He grabbed it. It was a cell phone. He powered it on and the screen came up; it wasn't locked.

The phone was on silent mode and there were notifications for over 80 missed calls and text messages asking someone named Bank to call home. The name sounded familiar but he didn't have time to think as Lom might walk through the door at any second. He dialed the only number he remembered: Mek's. It went to voicemail.

Fah began speaking in a trembling voice, "Mek, it's me, Fah. A lot happened but please thank Khun Korn for everything. I loved my job and I'm so grateful for his help in finishing my degree and taking me to the gala. You'll never believe it but Run's father turned out to be my real father! Run and Tin are my half-brothers and even Mint accepts me. I've never been so happy in my life."

He paused to stop himself from breaking down without finishing his message. Slapping his face, he continued.

"Please tell Win and Ohm they're wonderful and I wouldn't have survived the past year without them. Tell Run I'm sorry we didn't have a chance to do brother stuff. Say goodbye to Tin and Mint for me. Tell them all, especially Khun Adi, I love them and could never have wished for a better family."

At that moment Fah's voice cracked and he couldn't hold back the tears.

"Mek, the biggest mistake I made in this life was choosing Lom over you. You are a kind and wonderful person. You gave me advice whenever I asked, and always helped without complaining. And of course, you're sexy as hell. I'm sorry we never did more than kiss but I'm glad that you were my first kiss. I cherish that memory."

Fah had to stop again to gain control of his emotions.

"I'm sure Run can fill you in if he hasn't already, but we were kidnapped by Ton's men. Lom was part of the group. He shot me in the arm and he plans to kill me. He told me I was stupid for believing that he loved me. It wasn't the Lom that I knew. Or thought I knew."

A sob escaped him, and he waited once again despite his fear he wouldn't get to finish before Lom returned.

"I was stupid. I thought he was the greatest guy in the whole world and everything I dreamed of in a partner. It was all a lie, all fake. He didn't mean any of it. I don't know why he did it if it was for sex or to make a fool out of me."

He paused and inhaled deeply.

"Whatever. He fucking feels nothing for me and he never has. If I try to escape, I'll put Run's family in jeopardy. If I stay here I will be killed soon enough. I don't know if he'll torture me or not."

Fah momentarily contemplated what kind of torture Lom could do that would be worse than what he had already said and done.

"To protect Khun Adi and the family, I killed three of Lom's men. One of them was very important to him. He's not forgiving me. I suspect he is getting ready to kill me because he has me on an IV and is already giving me constant morphine. I won't give him the satisfaction, I'll do it myself. It's the only thing I can do to protect those I love."

Fah was about to hang up when he remembered something.

"By the way, don't call this number back, it's a phone I found in Lom's bedside table drawer. He mustn't know I've contacted you. I'll erase this from the call log. I'm in some condo of his and when I look out the windows, it's not an area I've ever seen. Thanks for everything. I love you. Hopefully, we'll meet again in the next life."

Fah quickly deleted the call log and put the phone back. Snatching all of the morphine syringes he shut the drawer, and wiggled his way back to his side of the bed.

After several prayers, he injected the first syringe. He looked out the window and said goodbye to the world. He prayed for his mother to come to him.

He injected the second and third. He was still depressing the third syringe when he passed out.

His hand fell and the three used syringes landed on the floor. The untouched ones rolled down the mattress under his thigh as his body relaxed into oblivion.

His last thought was why had Lom never loved him.