Fathers and Law: Lom and Fah Book One

Chapter 36

"Why can't I have any visitors?" asked Fah. He was curious about who Mek was. After all, he said he had been Fah's first kiss so they must have been close. He was anxious to see what kind of man he dated in his old life.

"Fah, your body has been through a lot in the past week. You need to rest, you need to eat, especially protein, fruits, and vegetables. I want you off the oxygen and I need you to have an appetite before you have visitors. If someone comes and they're a little bit sick it might be deadly for you. I'm not taking any chances."

Fah stared at his hands. Lom said nothing and waited for Fah to speak but he remained silent.

"I suppose it's boring here. Is there anything you want to do? Or anything you'd like to ask me?" Lom wanted Fah to smile again. He was ashamed because if he hadn't shot him, Fah would never have overdosed on morphine and would be the man he used to know.

"Mek said he was my first kiss..." Fah was embarrassed to admit this. What if Lom wasn't aware of this and looked at him differently now?

Why do I care how Lom sees me? He shot me; I shouldn't care at all about his opinion, Fah thought.

"He was." Lom was surprised this was what Fah wanted to discuss first.

"Did you know I'm gay?" asked Fah. He was afraid it might anger Lom.

"Yes. I'm gay too," said Lom. Inside it was killing him that Fah remembered nothing of the times they'd been together or that Lom had been the first person he'd had sex with.

"You are? But you...kidnap and shoot people," said Fah. He was having trouble explaining himself.

"Oh, you think if a man is gay he has to be sweet and kind all of the time? Do you think every gay man sells flowers?" Lom was laughing. "Fah, what I do with the man I love has nothing to do with my job. My personal and work lives are separate."

"Did I know you were gay?" asked Fah.

"Yes, you found out last year."

"Only last year? I thought we grew up together and were close." Fah hated that everything was so confusing. It made him feel stupid.

"I didn't tell you because you were always busy with schoolwork and didn't hang out with anyone I was friends with."

"How did I find out?" asked Fah.

"You asked me who the first person I had sex with was and I told you. It was someone we went to high school with."

"What was his name?" Fah wondered if this might trigger any memories.

"Somchai. He played badminton at school and later played on the national team."

"Oh, so you like athletic guys?" Fah was curious, he couldn't picture the type of man that would interest Lom.

"I don't only like athletes but I am picky if I'm going to date someone," said Lom.

"Are you dating someone now?" Fah asked this and hoped Lom said no, although he was unsure why.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not, that's why. There are a lot of guys I've had sex with but I've only ever dated two people, Somchai, and one other person."

"Who was the other person?" Fah tilted his head to the side and wrinkled his nose.

"It doesn't matter. He isn't around anymore," Lom said, a tinge of sadness in his voice.

"What was he like?"

"He was kind and sweet and always looked for the positive things in people. He believed in helping everyone. He was honest and he made me laugh. He never played games but instead told me exactly what he was feeling. He was smart and although he knew what kind of family I came from and what my job was, he thought I was a person with value. He loved me for me." Lom's voice drifted off.