Nick and Charlie life after high school one shots

Love to Keep me Warm

How about the green one?" Nick suggested, as Charlie stared at the shelf of lunch boxes, biting his fingernails.

"It's got a thermos, I don't need a thermos." Charlie's voice was much quieter than usual, more monotone. He didn't have energy to spare for tonal expressions.

"What if you want to have soup? Or maybe some beans one day?" Nick picked up the green lunch box and opened it up.

"I don't need a thermos," Charlie repeated. He wouldn't need one because he wouldn't be having soup or beans any day. He would be having a turkey sandwich with a slice of cheese and two vegetables on whole wheat bread, apple slices, baby carrots, and a baggie of 20 crisps, no more, no less, every weekday for the next month. He and Nick had already picked out the food on the other end of the grocery store. It had taken them nearly two hours, and Charlie was beyond exhausted. He just wanted to go home and fall asleep on Nicks lap on the sofa. But he couldn't. he had to pick out a stupid fucking lunch box and then go home and make stupid fucking dinner, and then eat dinner, and then pack his stupid fucking lunch for the next day. Charlie felt like he was going to die, right there in the kitchenware isle.

"Look, this one has a pocket in the front for little treats, and it comes with an ice pack!" Nick said, picking up another lunch box from the shelf. This one was purple. It did not have a thermos. "Or we could get one of the kiddie ones with dinosaurs on it? We could give them all little names and backgrounds," Nick was trying so hard to make this fun, but Charlie could tell he was tired too. It was for this very reason that he did not break down crying and screaming in the middle of the Tesco. He didn't want to do that to Nick.

"Whatever, just get the cheapest one," charlie said before turning away. He hugged himself and stared absentmindedly scratching at his upper arms.  He hated everything about this; the food shop, the lunch box, and especially the internship that landed them there in the first place. He should be able to carry on eating his meals at home, like his meal plan states. He was supposed to have the graduation requirement waived but his stupid fucking therapist thought it would be a good idea to push himself before leaving the safety net of uni. It was customary for seniors at Leeds to do an internship the winter of their senior year. Nick thought it was brilliant, and has a grand old time working at a hospital the year before. Charlie thought it was stupid. He didn't want to go into the workforce, he just wanted to keep going to school. And he already had been accepted to three post graduate programs, so it wasn't like it was unrealistic or anything. It didn't make sense for him to do it, and it definitely didn't align with his treatment plan. This was never supposed to happen! But no, Charlie was forced to waste precious hours of his education working somewhere he didn't even care about. Hours he could spend working on his thesis or taking a literature class or playing the drums or writing music. Hours so tight it meant he wouldn't be able to come home for lunch, and he would have to pack a bag, and eat out in public. It was stupid and dumb and a waste of time and it made him want to scratch his eyes out.

Everything about it was too much for charlie to handle. The light in the store was too bright, he could hear a baby screaming from the dairy isle, and he swore he could smell the food in their trolly. How many calories were in the smell alone? How much could he gain by just being in the store? He was going to wake up tomorrow morning ballooned up like a lawn ornament at christmas time and he would have to be lifted from his bed by a crane and then Nick would leave him and he would loose his internship and his scholarship and he wouldn't graduate university and he would never see Nellie or Henry ever again and—

"Char." Nick placed his hands over Charlie's, and gently pried them from his skin. Charlie could smell a bit of blood from where he had dug his nails in. There goes my clean streak, Charlie thought, I'll have to reset the stupid app. Charlie laughed to himself. Of all the things he could think about, he was worried about his sobriety app. The laugh came out as more of a sob or cough, and suddenly his eyes were watering. So much for not making a scene in the Tesco.