Let me love you

6

Mary didn't get a wink of sleep that night, tossing and turning, her mind unable to shut off. Mary had been avoiding John, upset with how narrow minded he was. She didn't understand how he could be so blind to the fact that he was tearing his family apart. It was obvious to everyone that there was tension between John and Mary. She kept herself busy during the day with work regarding the ranch, but once work was done she mostly kept to her room. She sat in the office scanning over a piece of paper when Beth barged in. Mary looked up at her and instantly could feel the bad mood radiating off the younger woman. Mary braced herself for whatever Beth was about to go off on, sighing gently and setting the paper down. "What is it?" Mary asked her. Beth sat down deflated in one of the chairs opposite of Mary. "Did you know about dad having cancer?" She asked. Mary felt guilt bubbling upon hearing Beth's question. Mary nodded once. "I found out just recently. I noticed he wasn't the same. He was trying to act normal, but I could tell something was wrong." Beth swallowed hard at the look of sadness on Mary's face. It dawned on her, how observant Mary was. None of John's children had noticed a change in him, yet Mary had. That made Beth feel bitter. "Why didn't he tell us?" Beth asked. Mary sighed. "He didn't want to put more stress on you all, didn't want you to worry. He's better, Beth. I'm sorry he didn't tell you." Beth stood up. "I need a drink." Beth left the office while Jamie stood outside confronting John about his cancer. Mary rubbed her temples, hating that this family kept secrets from one another. She heard the front door slam open and then closed. "In my office. Now." She heard John tell Beth sternly. Mary shifted uncomfortably in the desk chair as she heard John's footsteps approaching the room she was in. She picked up the paper she was previously looking at to try to make herself look busy. "Mary," John said softly. He had felt terrible for making her upset and didn't know what to do to try and make it better. She glanced up at him. "Hi, John," she said quietly. John sighed and walked over to the desk. "I need to talk to Beth but once I'm done, can we talk?" He asked. Mary looked up at him. No matter how mad she could be at him, she knew she couldn't stay feeling that way. She cared too much for him. Mary nodded gently and stood up. John pulled her towards him and kissed her cheek. Beth walked into the room and John's anger resurfaced. "Sit." He told his daughter. Mary went to leave the room but Beth told her to say. "Whatever he has to say, he can say it in front of you." Mary nodded and sat down next to Beth, John taking the seat behind the desk. "You embarrassed me, Beth." "She doesn't know what she is talking about, dad!" John sighed. "Why do you have a problem with any woman I am associated with?" John asked angrily. Mary swallowed thickly, wishing she had left the room after all. "Because they aren't my mother!" Beth bit back and Mary glanced over at her. John slammed his hand on the desk causing Mary to jump. "Toughen up or go back to Utah." He stood up and stared his daughter down. "And don't ever mention your mother to me again. You forfeited that right a long time ago." He left the room. Beth sat there dumbfounded, tears in her eyes. She was always her father's favorite, always the most loyal to him so when he went off on her it felt like a punch to the gut. Mary felt like she was on black ice, unsure of what she should do. Mary looked over at Beth and felt so much compassion. "I'm sorry," Mary said softly, unsure if part of Beth's complaint had to do with her. Beth quickly wiped under her eyes before glancing at Mary. "You're too nice for this place. You're too nice for him. He ruins the people he loves." Beth got up and left the room. Mary briefly closed her eyes, feeling a headache coming on. She hated all this conflict. She went into the kitchen to grab a glass of water when she saw John sitting at the kitchen island with a glass of whiskey. "You're too hard on her," Mary said as she grabbed a glass from the cabinet. John let out a chuckle. "That's what she needs." It was Mary's turn to let out a laugh as she shook her head. "You think you have it all figured out? The way your children should have been parented, you've done the opposite." John looked at her confused. "Excuse me?" Mary took a swig of her water. "You just told your daughter that you think she killed her mother." John looked down ashamed. "She told me that I was too nice for this place, too nice for you. Said that you ruin the people you love." Mary walked out the back door to get some fresh air. She felt mentally drained from the day. John found her later to let her know he was going fishing with a friend of his and he'd be back late. She just nodded and let him kiss her head goodbye. As Mary went up to her room for the night, Beth stopped her in the hallway. "I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I don't have an issue with you. I-I shouldn't be such a bitch to you when you're the only person who just lets me be me." Mary took in how beautiful Beth was, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear. "You are a good person, Beth. I'm sorry your family doesn't see or understand you like I do." Beth's breath hitched and she nodded, swallowing back tears. She quickly walked off. Mary sighed as she approached another restless night.